


What's love got to do with it?

by ColorMeParanoid



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Communication, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, In a way, Light Angst, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Not Beta Read, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Unconventional Relationship, platonic boyfriends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:55:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29474319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorMeParanoid/pseuds/ColorMeParanoid
Summary: "Hear me out," Buck said. "Clearly, both of us are sick of dating other people. And we're a good fit, in pretty much every way that matters. So what if we're not in love? We don't need to be in love to be happy together."Eddie frowned. "So basically, we'd be boyfriends, without benefits?""Yes!" Buck snapped his fingers. "Like platonic boyfriends! We'd get all the benefits of a relationship and none of the heartbreak."And maybe Eddie had finally lost his mind, or maybe it was from all the alcohol clouding his judgment, but the idea of it didn't sound half as crazy as it should have.***After Buck’s and Eddie’s dates both end with disasters – proving once again that maybe dating just wasn’t meant for them –  they decide to simply settle for each other. If there was one person in the world they'd ever trust with their hearts, it was each other. And who was a better person to date other than your very own best friend?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 221
Kudos: 697





	1. Chapter 1

Ana looked absolutely gorgeous in her red, form fitting dress, her long curly hair falling loosely over her bare shoulders. She looked so different than any other time he'd seen her in a school setting, so it was almost jarring to see her all dressed up for an actual date.

He'd been shocked when she stopped him in the hallway when he’d come to pick Christopher up after his first day of school. He'd immediately assumed that something was wrong and breathed through his anxiety so he wouldn't lose his cool with her again. But she was no longer Christopher’s teacher, Eddie remembered and she surprised him by asking him out to dinner instead.

Eddie, still struck dumb and very taken by her bold approach agreed without a second thought. And now here they were, Chris with his abuela for the night and Eddie sharing a nice bottle of wine with a gorgeous woman who for some reason actually seemed interested in him.

It'd been a long time since Eddie went out on a proper date – if he didn't count the one where he proposed to his estranged wife who then served him divorce papers. Which, he probably shouldn't.

But before that, before he'd gotten with Shannon at the very end of high school, there were a few girls he took out to the local diner for burgers and fries and the occasional movie date where they spent more time making out in the back row than actually watching the movie.

But those were all miles away from where he was right now, in an actual nice, adult restaurant without a curfew and sitting across a woman who looked like she wanted to devour him.

It was possible that he was a _tiny_ bit nervous, though Buck would highly disagree, having been a witness to his major freak out as he was getting ready for his date earlier this evening. Buck had to talk him down from canceling the entire thing and helped him decide what to wear and come up with some safe topics of conversation if they didn't come naturally. Though, those immediately evaporated out of his head as soon as Ana smiled at him. He always was a sucker for a pretty face.

Somehow, by some miracle, things were going really well. She seemed legitimately curious about his job and he had enough crazy stories to last him at least two lifetimes and he made an effort to ask plenty of questions about her as well, like Buck drilled into his head.

"Whatever you do, don't be that guy who spends the entire night talking about himself," Buck had said. "That's the guy who doesn't get a second date."

And at this point, Eddie _really_ wanted a second date.

Sure, it was a bit daunting, dipping his toes back into the dating pool after being out of it for so long. He'd almost forgotten how much he missed it, this close companionship and the simmering tension with a potential romantic partner that only grew heavier as the night progressed.

Ana was gorgeous and smart and unexpectedly hilarious. She knew that his job could be incredibly dangerous and had crazy hours and she'd asked him out anyway. Most importantly, she already liked Christopher and he definitely liked her back, which was basically Eddie's main requirement in a partner.

"Are you free next weekend?" she asked halfway through dessert and Eddie nodded, then winced.

"I am, but I already promised to take Chris to the zoo."

"That's okay," she reassured him. "Maybe I could come with you, make a day out of it?"

And this was the part where Eddie should invite her along and call it a date. This was the ideal woman for him, who knew she had a kid and didn't mind him tagging along to some of their dates. She was well aware of how dating a single parent worked and the challenges that came with it.

But. She'd never been with Eddie, whose protective instincts ran haywire for the people he cared about, and especially when it came to his son. He'd barely let Shannon come back into his life after she left them the first time, and she was his mother. 

Introducing another woman into Christopher’s life this early on? Yeah, that wasn't going to happen.

"Look, it hasn’t really been that long since Chris lost his mother,” he said. "And he's the most important thing in the world to me. I'm not ready to introduce him to anyone I'm seeing quite this soon."

She frowned. "But I already know him. I've been his teacher for the past two years."

"It's not the same," Eddie insisted. "Being his teacher is one thing; being his dad's girlfriend is a world of difference."

She bit her lip, then nodded. "Okay, I understand. You're doing what's best for him." Eddie let out a relieved breath. Sure, it wasn't ideal but at least she could understand where he was coming from. "When are you free next?"

Eddie went through his meticulous schedule in his head. He and Buck were taking Chris to the zoo that weekend, followed by their usual movie night. He had some time off during the week, but the start of a new school year was always a chaotic time in their lives and Eddie actually wanted to spend some quality time with his son instead of taking any spare moment he had to dump him with a babysitter just to go on a date. It felt incredibly selfish to even think about it.

And that was without mentioning the doctor appointment he had to take Chris to, helping his abuela do some work around her yard that he promised her weeks ago and all the extra shifts he’d agreed to take on this month. And, of course, all the general chores and house maintenance that came with being a home owner.

But if he moved some stuff around in his tightly packed schedule, barring any emergency, he could maybe fit in one more date this month.

"I could find some time the weekend after the next one," he said carefully, already knowing that this was the start of the end.

She nodded, face going blank. "I see. And do you happen to have a time frame in which you'd feel comfortable with me spending time around Christopher?"

Eddie shrugged. "There is no set time frame, really. It all depends on how well things between us go first."

She raised an eyebrow. "And how are we supposed to get to know each other better if we only see each other twice per month?"

"Texting?" he suggested, half joking but she didn't seem amused in the slightest. He sighed. "This isn't going to work out, is it?"

He knew he was a busy guy, juggling his job and being a single parent and just being an adult in general, but he never really understood how much until this very moment. The idea of having some downtime had become a foreign concept a long time ago. 

Ana shook her head, looking down at her half eaten chocolate mousse. "I really do like you, Eddie. But I'm looking for a serious relationship, with marriage and kids and all things in between. And I don't feel comfortable investing so much time into a relationship that might not even work out in the end."

"I get it, Ana," he said, doing his best to give her a convincing smile. He _did_ get it. That didn't mean that it sucked any less. "But I’m glad we gave it a try anyway.”

“Me too.”

They continued chatting as they finished their desserts, but it was mostly awkward since they both clearly wanted to get out of the situation as soon as possible. Eddie flagged down the waiter for the check, Ana insisting they split the bill before he walked her out to her car.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for,” Ana said softly and Eddie wished her the same before he left to his own car, feeling absolutely dejected and miserable.

Clearly, ‘putting himself out there’ was a bad idea. There was a reason that he put it off for so long in the first place, because now he had no other choice but to face the reality that the person Eddie needed in his life the most didn’t actually exist. Ana was his perfect match on paper, and even she faltered when she realized the level of commitment being with Eddie would require.

But it wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t his fault, either. It was just life. But now that he’d just gotten hit in the face with the realization that dating at this point in his life was going to be near impossible and take up too much of the time that he didn’t even really have, what was the point of even trying?

When he got into his car and finally checked his phone, he found a text waiting from Buck, asking for an update on his date. It was later than Eddie assumed, because things were going quite well at first before they went to shit and Eddie sighed as he typed out a quick response. A simple, ‘didn’t work out’ to not bring the mood down too much if Buck’s date was going well unlike his own.

When Eddie confided in Buck that he wasn’t sure if he was ready to try dating again, Buck insisted that he could do this. _They_ could do this. Buck had been talking about getting back out there ever since Abby’s sudden reappearance and the subsequent closure of that chapter of his life, but he always came up with excuses not go through with it, constantly making profiles on various dating sites and deleting them by the next day. 

So, being the best supportive friend in all of existence, Buck had agreed to take the step with him and ask out this cute girl that he kept running into in his local coffee shop. And if Buck was willing to put himself back out there after everything he’d been through, how could Eddie just let him do it on his own? Solidarity, and all that.

Only now, he was seriously regretting it. He should have listened to his gut and just canceled the date. Living in denial might have been a preferable option. Because now, his hope for a brighter future with someone by his side was truly dead and gone and he was in desperate need of a strong drink.

Hopefully, Buck’s night was going much better than his own.

Not expecting Buck to answer, he stuffed his phone back into his pocket and started the long drive home. When he finally made it there, however, he was surprised to find Buck’s jeep already parked in his driveway, the man himself sitting in the darkness of his front porch despite having the key to let himself inside.

“Buck?” he asked as he got out of the car, frowning. “What are you doing here?”

Buck looked up at him and raised two six-packs of their favorite beer. His eyes were red rimmed and he looked like he was put through the wringer and Eddie fucking _knew_ he should have listened to his gut.

Putting themselves out there? What a load of bullshit. When had that ended well for either of them?

“Want to get drunk?” Buck asked, handing him one can of beer and shaking it invitingly in the air between them.

Eddie considered the offer. Chris was staying the night with abuela, Carla was picking him up from there to take him straight to school and neither of them had to be at work until the late afternoon tomorrow. Buck didn’t seem to be in the mood for talking, and Eddie knew better than to push him when he was in this state of mind.

So fuck it. Why not? How much worse could this night possibly get?

He took the beer can from Buck and walked past him to unlock his front door. He turned to look at him over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow. “You coming?”

Buck hurriedly got up and followed him inside and right into the kitchen where Eddie pulled out a bottle of tequila he kept in the back of his highest cupboard for emergencies. If he was really going to let himself get properly drunk for the first time since Christopher was born, then he might as well go all out. 

Buck’s eyes widened as he took in the bottle before he grinned, clearly on board with the plan.

“Hell yeah,” he said, taking the shot glass that Eddie handed him and downed it in one go, wincing at the burn. “Let’s get this pity party started.”

Eddie poured himself a shot and downed it all at once, relishing the burn. This was definitely a horrible idea, but right now, it was exactly what he needed to forget all about his troubles, if only for one night.

Regret will still be there to haunt him tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

“You know what I miss the most about being in a relationship?” Eddie asked, breaking the silence that had settled between them after half a bottle of tequila. Eddie had just finished recounting his date, feeling loose from all the alcohol and willing to admit to things he never usually would, not even to Buck who was his best friend.

Buck hummed inquisitively from where he was sprawled over the other side of the couch, far from his usual smiley tipsy self that Eddie was so used to seeing. The feeling that had followed him to Eddie’s place was still clearly with him and as much as Eddie wanted to push to figure out what happened, he didn’t want to make it worse.

Buck came to him because he knew he wouldn’t force him into talking, and even with the buzz of alcohol in his veins, he was damn well going to respect that.

“The certainty of it,” Eddie said, blinking slowly at the ceiling. “Knowing that you have someone to wake up next to, someone who will be there when you get home. Someone who’s just- there. Someone you can rely on.” He swallowed hard. “An anchor, to keep you grounded.”

He and Shannon had that once, a long time ago. When he returned from his first tour, to his son and his wife and they were a happy little family. Before he realized that they couldn’t afford to be one without getting themselves into a significant amount of debt and he signed up for the second one and broke them completely.

“I miss the physical affection,” Buck said, and Eddie snorted. “I don’t mean sex, Eddie, though that’s great, too.” He sighed. “Just- holding hands, sharing a bed, kissing just for the sake of it. Fuck, I miss the cuddling. Touch starvation is a thing, did you know that?”

Eddie nodded, even if Buck couldn’t see it. He missed it, too. So much. Christopher was getting older now, and he was already shying away from Eddie’s affections, not wanting to be tucked in every night or cuddle with his dad when Eddie read him stories before bed. It won’t be long before he completely pulled away from all physical affections and Eddie was dreading it.

When Buck brought up the topic one day at random while they had some downtime at the station, Eddie could relate to it so hard it hurt. Besides Christopher, the only other person who regularly touched him was Buck, and even then, it was just brief hugs and pats on the back or sitting with their shoulders pressed together.

They were awfully touchy for two friends, Eddie knew that. He wasn't blind to how other people looked at them sometimes. But the truth was that they were just two lonely people who kept gravitating towards each other for comfort and companionship. It was what made them such great friends; they could understand each other perfectly.

"Do you think I'm relationship material?" Buck asked all of a sudden, breaking Eddie out of his thoughts.

"Of course you are," Eddie said without any hesitation. "Any girl would be lucky to have you."

Eddie had heard all the stories of Buck and his adventures from when he first joined the 118, the one before Abby came into Buck’s life and set him straight. But he still had a hard time reconciling that Buck with the one he got to know from pretty much day one, who clung to his relationship with Abby with such ferocity that Eddie almost pitied him because she clearly didn’t feel the same way. 

The Buck he knew today was the most loyal and loving person he'd ever had the pleasure of meeting. He was like the definition of an ideal partner if he'd ever seen one and Eddie would kill to have someone like Buck in his life. Anyone who thought he wasn't 'relationship material' was clearly out of their mind.

"But then why does everyone keep leaving?" Buck whispered and the question broke Eddie's heart. "It's like no matter how hard I try, in the end, all they want is to use me. Whether to make themselves feel better, or to have a place to stay while they're in town or just to have some fun before they kick me out of their bed in the morning."

"Hey," Eddie said sharply, lifting his head up to face him. "That's not true."

"Isn't it?" Buck shot back. "When all the evidence is pointing in a certain direction, it's hard not to connect the dots and realize that I'm the problem. Clearly, there's something about me that is so repulsive that no one will ever want to seriously date me."

"Now you're just being dramatic."

"Me?" Buck said, incredulous. " _I'm_ the one being dramatic? You just spent nearly an hour whining how you'll be alone forever because no sane girl would ever date you."

Eddie pursed his lips. "That's different."

Buck rolled his eyes. "Please, Eddie, do enlighten me. How is it different?"

"You're smart and funny, have your own place, no debt to your name and you're a hotshot firefighter. You're not even 30 yet. Your time will come."

"First of all, you're only a few years older than me so stop with that old geezer bullshit,” Buck said. “And did you forget that you're also a hotshot firefighter? People hit on you on calls just as much as they do on me, if not more."

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Oh yes. A firefighter with two tours in Afghanistan worth of nightmares with a mortgage and a single parent to a young son with special needs. And those are just plain facts, Buck, so don’t bother arguing with me." Eddie sighed. "That’s too much baggage to put on someone else. If I was in a different situation, then fine. But with everything the way it is now? I wouldn't want to date me, either."

Buck didn't have anything to say to that. He just took another swig of tequila straight from the bottle and passed it over to Eddie who did the same. The shot glasses were abandoned long ago. They passed the bottle back and forth now, their minds getting fuzzier by the minute, both lost in their thoughts.

Maybe Eddie could get back out there, once Christopher was old enough to go to college and Eddie didn’t need to pick up every extra shift to make ends meet. That would definitely give him enough free time to meet someone outside of the job and maybe even maintain a relationship. Maybe.

But right now, he didn't see a point in bothering. There was only so much disappointment he could take and Christopher should always remain his first priority, anyway. If the urge for another person became too great, Buck had proved over and over again that there were plenty of people out there who wanted nothing but a casual one night stand.

That would just have to be enough.

Buck mumbled something from beside him and Eddie frowned, not able to parse out his slurred words. "What?"

"I said," Buck repeated, a little too loud now, having lost all of his volume control from the tequila, "I would date you."

Eddie laughed, taking it as a joke that it clearly was. As _if_. Even if Eddie was into guys, Buck would still be way out of his league.

Buck kicked him in the leg, frowning. "I'm serious. I'd totally date you."

"You're just saying that to be nice."

"I'm not," Buck insisted in all his drunken glory. "You're like the whole package, Eddie. You're hot and you're funny and you're hot and you have the best kid ever. What's not to like?"

Eddie shook his head but now that Buck got this idea into his head, he was like a dog with a bone. He wasn't likely to stop until he got his point across.

"No, listen. Listen." Buck managed to get himself upright and moved closer to Eddie until he was basically halfway in his lap. "You and Chris are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I used to always be alone but then I met you and it feels like I'm finally a part of a real family."

"You are," Eddie slurred, because there was no denying it. Buck _was_ family.

"And sure, you're a busy guy and of course Chris will always be your first priority – as he damn well should be – but once you get to this point, to where we are now, it's more than worth the wait. It's like getting an instant little family. Who would be crazy enough to reject that?"

"Not everyone is that patient," Eddie said, wrapping an arm around Buck's waist to prevent him from flailing himself off the couch in his enthusiasm. "Or understanding. Or has as big a heart as you do."

Buck shrugged, leaning fully into his side. "That's because they don't know you like I do yet," he said, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Like it didn't warm Eddie up inside more than any alcohol ever could.

It took Eddie a long moment to process the words, heart pounding in his chest all of a sudden for a reason he couldn't quite grasp.

"I'd date you, too," Eddie blurted out before he could stop himself. Buck laughed and tried to pull away but Eddie didn't let him, keeping him right where he was. "I'm serious. If I were into guys, I'd date you in an instant."

"You're actually serious." Buck blinked at him, visibly shocked.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "So you can say you'd date me and that's fine but I can't do the same?"

"Yes, because you're you and I'm just...me." He paused. "And you could do so much better than that."

Eddie flicked him on the forehead. "Did you not listen to a word I said tonight? You're like my perfect match. You know my schedule, we hang out all the time, you love Chris and don't mind spending time with him. I trust you with my life. Hell, I trust you with _his_.” Eddie paused so they could both take in the weight of that statement that he didn’t quite mean to say, but meant anyway. “Of course I'd love to date you."

Anyone who said otherwise was lying, he was sure of it. They had no idea what they were missing out on. If Buck was a woman, he likely would have asked him out within a week of them meeting. Which probably wouldn't have been a good thing seeing as he was still technically married back then but that was beside the point. And the point was that Buck was the best and Eddie would be more than happy to have him as a boyfriend. If he was ever on the market for a boyfriend, that was. Which he was decidedly not.

But it was tempting. Really, _really_ tempting.

Buck was looking at him with wide eyed wonder and Eddie took another drink to have an excuse to look away from the sudden intensity in his eyes.

"Are you sure you're not into guys?" Buck asked with a strained chuckle and Eddie opened his mouth to say yes but hesitated. His mind immediately went to his time in the army, surrounded by mostly men and only being able to see his wife over the camera with very little privacy. He couldn't deny that they were all built and fairly attractive and how sometimes, hearing them getting off at night when they thought everyone was asleep got him riled up in what he told himself was empathetic horniness. That was thing that happened, right? Right?

"Eddie," Buck said, suddenly serious. "Don't mess with me like this."

"I'm not," Eddie insisted, clutching at the bottle in his hand like it was his lifeline. “What would it matter if I was? You're not."

Buck bit at his lip. "Yeah, about that..."

Eddie's eyebrows jumped with surprise. "Really?"

"I mean, I've never done anything with another guy," Buck said, taking the bottle from Eddie's hand and taking a long sip, head turned away to the side. "But I've always been a little curious."

Huh. Who would have thought- Actually, never mind. Who was Eddie kidding? It was _Buck_ . He was curious about literally everything and anything under the sun. This information wasn't that big of a surprise.

Eddie, though, he was on the whole other side of the spectrum. He didn't allow himself a lot of time to question his decisions. When Shannon got pregnant, he didn't have the luxury to slowly figure it out. He had to step up and take care of her and their baby. When he was out on the field, he couldn't afford to second guess himself. Lives literally depended on him and when he made a decision, he saw it through to the bitter end.

But... what if, he wondered now. What if? He fell for Shannon, married her, and it was safe to assume that made him perfectly straight. He never really had a reason to look at anyone else with any amount of interest, save for acknowledging that they were objectively good looking people. So, who was to say anything else wasn't an option?

Eddie shook the thought out of his mind. Fuck, he should have known that tequila would get to his head like this. It always had this effect on him, making him consider things he'd never dared while fully sober.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Buck asked and Eddie hesitantly nodded.

"It would be crazy, right?" Eddie asked. "I mean, I love you, Buck, but I'm not _in_ love with you."

"Even better!" Buck turned back towards him, his enthusiasm back in full force. "Love always complicates stuff anyway. We're already the best partners out on the field. We'd totally nail being in a relationship."

"I don't know about that, Buck."

"Hear me out," Buck said. "Clearly, both of us are sick of dating other people. And we're a good fit, in pretty much every way that matters. So what if we're not in love? We don't need to be in love to be happy together."

"So," Eddie said, frowning. "We'd be boyfriends...without benefits?"

He was pretty sure that the usual arrangement was the opposite one. But then again, when had anything about them been 'usual'?

"Yes!" Buck snapped his fingers. "Like platonic boyfriends! We'd get all the benefits of a relationship and none of the heartbreak."

And maybe Eddie had finally lost his mind, or maybe it was from all the alcohol clouding his judgment, but the idea of it didn't sound half as crazy as it should have.

"Platonic boyfriends," Eddie said to himself, trying out the words for size. He nodded once, then nodded again. "Yeah. That- that actually doesn't sound bad at all."

Buck wriggled out of his grip and landed into a messy heap on the floor, but he quickly oriented himself and grabbed more beer for them from the table. He clumsily cracked open a can and handed it to Eddie, spilling half of it all over himself in the process.

“It’s perfect,” Buck continued, pausing only to take a sip of his own beer. “We’d never have to go to another date in our lives.”

“And whenever someone hits on us at work, we could say we’re taken and it wouldn’t even be a lie,” Eddie added, giving this crazy idea more thought than it deserved. But he was feeling loose and his head was nice and floaty enough for him to for once just- just give into Buck’s enthusiasm, to hell with all the consequences and being the reasonable adult who had his shit together all the time.

Buck enthusiastically nodded, leaning his head back onto the couch so he could meet Eddie’s eyes. “And when I stay the night, I would no longer have to sleep on your shitty couch.”

Eddie frowned at him, tugging at his hair in reproach even though he could feel a coiled spring digging into his back where he was laid out on said couch. “My couch is not shitty.”

Though it was supposed to be annoying, Eddie's fingers tugging on Buck's hair only served to encourage him more. He leaned into the touch, eyes closed in bliss as he sighed, "And you could do this for me every day."

And Eddie should definitely stop petting Buck because as much as he acted like one, he definitely was not a golden retriever, but he couldn't bring himself to pull his hand away. The repetitive motion was mesmerizing and Buck's hair was so very soft to the touch. He definitely used conditioner.

Buck chuckled, squinting up at him. "You know what conditioner is?"

Eddie tugged at his hair harder for the tease and that did the job of shutting him up well enough. He was all but purring like the coziest little puppy. Wait, wrong animal. Could dogs purr? He couldn't quite remember. He couldn't remember a lot of things right now, like how to keep his thoughts in his head where they belonged.

"I grew up with sisters who had a lot of opinions about my hair," Eddie explained. And he maybe, a long, long time ago back in high school went through a phase where he grew out his hair until it went nearly past his shoulders. _Maybe_.

"Oh my god," Buck breathed out, pulling away from his touch. "Please tell me there's pictures?"

"No," he said immediately, hand twitching in the direction of his phone that was sitting innocently on the coffee table. He didn't have any pictures, but his sisters did and they were just waiting for him to start dating again so they could put them to good use.

Buck clocked the movement and reached for it at the same time, but since both of them were beyond tipsy and edging into seriously drunk, they both ended up sprawled on the floor instead, tousling like drunken toddlers.

And that's how their pity party turned into a battle for Eddie's phone, that Eddie managed to secure and hide somewhere he was sure he wouldn't be able to remember in the morning, Buck stumbling after him and miserably failing to locate it.

Eventually, Buck gave up and just tackled Eddie to his bed and threatened to tickle him until he gave up the information. The joke was on him, though, because Eddie wasn't ticklish at all, but he still completely lost it at the disgruntled look on Buck's face as he kept trying anyway until he dissolved into laughter as well.

Eddie honestly couldn't remember when was the last time he laughed this much, and for the life of him, he couldn't figure out how they got from the depressing start of the night to this, laughing like maniacs at absolutely nothing.

He supposed it might be due to Buck, his bright smile and his never ending optimism. Even when it faltered, he got right back up and he wouldn't stop until he dragged Eddie right to the surface with him.

Yeah, Eddie decided when they finally settled down and started drifting to sleep, limbs still tangled together. It was definitely Buck.

Buck always made everything better.


	3. Chapter 3

Buck woke up with what felt like the worst hangover of his entire life.

He knew that it wasn't, not by a long shot, because in his wildest days this amount of alcohol was just a warm up for the real party that followed. But it had been a while since he drank this much in one sitting and his tolerance was pretty non existent at this point. 

And quite frankly, he was getting a little too old for this nonsense.

Whose bright idea was this again? Right. His. That tracked. But it was Eddie who pulled out the tequila that really sealed the deal so he should at least take half the blame here. It was only fair.

And speaking of Eddie, where was he anyway? And where was Buck?

He squinted his eyes open, wincing at the harsh sunlight coming in through the curtains that neither of them was in any state to close before they passed out... in Eddie's bed? Buck had a brief moment of panic as he ripped the covers off of himself but then relaxed when he noticed that he was still fully clothed, even though he felt hot and sweaty and gross as a result. But hey, at least he kept it in his pants. Drunk Buck could get very handsy and his decision making got even worse than usual, and that was really saying something. 

"Eddie?" he called out in a hoarse voice, wincing when the too loud sound made his head throb.

The sound of retching coming from the adjoined bathroom was all the answer he needed and he did his best to ignore it before he started feeling sick, too.

The first thing his mind jumped to distract himself was his date from the night before, because of course it did. He already felt horrible, so why not add to it a little more? Just poke at the bloody, gaping hole where his heart used to be.

He was being very melodramatic and he was aware. But he couldn't help it. The thing he still couldn't get over was how it had all started out so great.

As it turned out, the reason he kept running into his date – Sam - in the coffee shop at odd hours was because she worked just as crazy schedule as he did, only as an ER doctor. Not even the doctors were spared the shitty hospital coffee and she needed her fix, she'd joked when he first approached her.

They’d agreed to meet up in a nearby bar, in a more casual setting rather than going out for dinner and they had that instant chemistry that meant that they got along like a house on fire. Sam was a bit of an adrenaline junkie. She loved going on adventures and travelling whenever her job allowed, and when it didn’t, she went on hikes in the area or went rock climbing with her friends on the weekends, along with a bunch of other high adrenaline activities whenever she had the time. Buck had to stop himself from constantly saying _me too_ , settling for enthusiastic nodding instead because holy shit, she was perfect.

He was more than a little smitten, he wasn’t going to lie.

They exchanged crazy and gross work stories and Sam didn’t even flinch when he told her about being crushed by a firetruck and the subsequent mess of a recovery that followed. Instead of being freaked out and running in the opposite direction, she was absolutely fascinated and asked him about all the medical details, which was a very pleasant change from his other dating experiences. Maybe he should have tried dating someone in a similar profession a long time ago. Someone who understood the risks of his job and the crazy hours that came with it.

Like Abby, his mind unhelpfully supplied and he told it to shut the fuck up and blocked out all the thoughts of his past dating failures, focusing solely on Sam. In fact, Buck was so enthralled by her and her infectious laughter and her dirty jokes that he nearly jumped out of his skin when a familiar voice called his name.

“Evan?”

Buck turned around and was shocked to see no one other than Ali herself standing there right in front of him that it took a moment for him to realize that she wasn’t just some messed up figment of his imagination. 

“Ali?” he’d said, completely taken aback. “What are you doing here?”

Ali travelled a lot for work and she never spent a significant amount of time in LA, so while the possibility was still on the table, he never expected he’d run into her again after their break up. And now here she was, standing right in front of him like a ghost from his past.

“I uh,” she’d said, clearly hesitant, then smiled at the man standing beside her that Buck had only now noticed was there. A guy, he couldn’t help but notice, that was still dressed in his LAPD uniform and was looking right back at her like she was his sun. The same way _Buck_ used to look at her. “I found a full time position in LA so I live here permanently now.”

Her eyes flickered down to her hand and Buck’s followed, taking note of the obvious engagement ring that was settled on her left ring finger. It had been a year since they broke up, since she decided that she couldn’t handle the danger that came with his job and they parted ways.

And now here she was, engaged to a cop who put his life on the line every single day same as him, living in LA instead of only being here a few days at a time and it was – it was a lot to handle all of at once.

“Congratulations,” he’d forced the words through the tightness of his throat and forced a smile that probably wasn’t half as convincing as it was meant to be.

“Thank you,” she’d said, then apologized for interrupting his date when she noticed he wasn't here alone and walked out of his life once again, following her new future that definitely didn’t involve him.

Buck turned back to Sam who only raised a knowing eyebrow. “Let me guess. An ex?”

Buck chuckled, still struggling to catch up with all of the new information that had been thrown at him. “Yeah." He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. "What were we talking about again? Your favorite places to hike, right? Do you have any good recommendations?”

And then they went off again like nothing happened, only half of Buck’s attention stubbornly stayed focused on Ali and her sudden appearance. What was it about his exes dumping him and getting engaged soon after? First Abby, now Ali.

And here he was, still single and not for the lack of trying, which made him feel even worse. 

Well, hopefully he won’t remain single for long. He forced himself to put all his attention back to Sam where it belonged, determined to make this the best damn first date she ever had. When she started dropping hints that it was getting late, he offered to give her a ride home and she accepted. When they got to her place, she invited him inside for another drink – and despite his brain screaming at him that this wasn’t a good idea – he accepted.

Buck wasn’t that kind of guy anymore. But just because he had sex with someone after a first date didn’t mean that there wouldn’t be another one, right? Sam was a no nonsense type of girl. She lived for having fun and having adventures and since they clicked so well, what was the point of prolonging the inevitable? Why did it matter if they had sex now instead of after the third date? Was the timing of it really that important in the grand scheme of things?

And if Buck was good at one thing, it was sex. So he said yes and went up to her apartment and when she kissed him, he kissed her back. She dragged him to her bed and he put all his skills to good use to show her just how good he was at this, to give her enough incentive to keep him around for longer than just one night.

It was so easy, falling back into his old habits. Seeing Ali brought back all of his past insecurities, that he wasn’t good enough for anyone, that no matter what he did or how hard he tried, no one would ever care for him the same way he cared for them. Sex always used to make it better, sharing that connection with another person and feeling wanted and desired if only for a brief moment.

But things with Sam were going to be different, he told himself when they finished, both of them sprawled over her bed and panting with exertion. Sex was great and he’d spend the night curled around her and holding her close and maybe make her breakfast in the morning and ask her out again and she’d say yes and it was going to be _different_. He needed it to be different this time.

But then she rolled away from under his arm and got out of the bed, getting dressed. She picked up his shirt from the floor and handed it to him as she said, “So, I have an early shift tomorrow morning…”

And Buck wasn’t an idiot, okay? He’d done this song and dance countless times before. This was his hint to leave if he’d ever seen any. So he’d gotten dressed and let her walk him to her door and despite obvious signs that this wasn’t going to come to anything, he still couldn’t help but ask, “When can I see you again?” 

She laughed, like he’d said some kind of joke before she realized that he was serious. “Look, Buck, I had a lot of fun tonight, but I thought I’ve made it clear that I’m not looking for a relationship right now.” She bit at her lip as she looked him over. “But if you want to do this again sometime, I wouldn’t say no.”

“I don’t do that anymore,” he’d said and she clearly didn’t believe him. Considering what they just did, he didn’t blame her for her assumption.

"I know your type, Buck," she’d said. "Which is why I agreed to go out with you in the first place. I’m sorry if you thought that this was something more, but like I said, I’m not on the market for a boyfriend.”

“That’s okay,” he’d said with a light laugh, even though it really wasn’t. But it wasn’t Sam’s fault that Buck got overly attached after a single date and that he was stupid enough to read more into this than there actually was. Clearly, when people looked at him, they only saw someone who was good for one night. Not someone to keep. Never someone to keep. “It was nice meeting you, Sam.”

“You too, Buck,” she’d said. “I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.”

Me too, Buck thought as he walked back to his car, breathing through the hurt and feeling like the biggest idiot on the planet. _Me too._

Once in his car, he checked in with Eddie, bought a bunch of beer and then bought some more when Eddie let him know that his own date was a bust, too.

And now here he was, hungover and heartbroken, sprawled over Eddie's bed and regretting all of his previous life choices.

Not only had he hurt himself with his insistence to try dating again, but he'd dragged Eddie right along with him, too and now they were both a mess.

And they still had to go to work today.

He groaned and curled up in a tight little ball of misery on top of Eddie's bed, pulled the covers up to his chin despite the heat and tried his best to forget everything about last night. Unfortunately, alcohol never had that effect on him. No matter what stupid stunt he pulled or promises he'd made, they always returned to him eventually at the most inopportune times.

And the conversation he'd had with Eddie last night was a hard one to forget. The main question now was if Eddie would remember it, too.

A little while later, Eddie came out of the bathroom freshly showered but still looking like he just got hit by a truck. And Buck knew what he was talking about, as he was intimately familiar with the look.

“It’s your turn to shower,” Eddie said, voice gravelly from both sleep and the alcohol. He rifled through his closet and pulled out a spare change of clothes and a clean towel and set them on the bathroom sink. 

Buck whined, burrowing further under the covers because even the thought of moving made him feel sick but Eddie was having none of it. He ripped the covers all the way off of him, interrupting Buck's wallowing. "You smell like a distillery, Buck. It's disgusting." He started pulling at the sheet under him next. "Now get up. I need to change the bed."

Groaning, Buck did as he was told and rolled himself out of bed. He decided that he hated hungover Eddie who turned out to be a hard ass without mercy of sympathy for his suffering. But, after Buck caught a whiff of himself on his way to the bathroom, he definitely didn’t blame him.

By the time he dragged himself out of the shower and into the kitchen, as ready for the day as he could possibly be under these circumstances, Eddie handed him a glass of water and some pills that Buck took without question. Either they'd help with his splitting headache or they'd finish the job. He wouldn't say no to either option right now.

Once he downed the glass of water, Eddie refilled it and started rifling through his cupboards. “Do you happen to know where I put my phone last night? I can’t find it anywhere.”

Buck took a moment to think about it and then shook his head. “I have no idea. I’ll try calling you.”

“Don’t bother,” Eddie said, sighing. “It was on silent.”

“I’m sure it’ll pop up soon enough.” Buck’s stomach growled and he got up to rifle through Eddie’s fridge, looking for food. There wasn’t much to work with, because Eddie relied mostly on ready made meals and he was horrible at keeping his fridge well stocked but he did find his phone right next to a half empty carton of milk. He picked it up with a triumphant noise and closed the fridge. “And I was right. But unless we can eat your phone, we should really go grab some food.”

He wasn't exactly in the mood to go grocery shopping or for cooking, but needs must and all that.

“Way ahead of you,” Eddie said. “I ordered us some breakfast while you were in the shower. Should be here soon.”

“Thanks.”

Eddies usual choices for takeout weren't the best option for a healthy breakfast that would actually help with a hangover – because greasy food really only helped if you had it before you got fantastically wasted – but it was a comforting meal that would at least make them feel slightly better. Especially considering that they were both too distracted to ply themselves with water before they passed out, a critical mistake.

Buck definitely made a good decision to stop drinking; he always forgot just how much he hated the aftermath.

They sat there in a strained silence at the opposite ends of the counter, both sipping at their waters and not quite meeting each other's eyes as they waited for their food to arrive.

Just him and Eddie and the giant elephant in the room they were both doing a shitty job ignoring.

Because Buck certainly hadn't forgotten about their conversation or any of the things they've shared with one another in their moments of drunk vulnerability. And judging by the way Eddie kept stealing not so subtle glances at him, he hadn't either.

"I wasn't joking, you know?" Buck said eventually, unable to bear the silence or the uncertainty of it any longer. "I would still totally date you."

Well, it _had_ started as mostly a joke, just something to make Eddie feel better and less hopeless about his own future. But then the more he thought about it, the more he found himself actually wanting it.

Wouldn't it be perfect, to date his best friend? He was sick and tired of being hurt and putting his trust in all the wrong people and if there was one person he'd trust to keep his heart safe, it would be Eddie.

Buck didn't have any delusions in his head that Eddie was anywhere close to perfect, but no one was and he was certain that they'd be amazing together, even if there were no romantic feelings between them. Love always made things worse, anyway, in Buck’s admittedly limited experience.

Or maybe he was just grasping at straws.

"Buck," Eddie said, watching him carefully. Buck knew exactly what he wanted to know, so he decided to deflect him some more because he really wasn't in the mood to rehash his date last night. He already felt pathetic enough. He didn’t need Eddie’s pity to top it all off. 

"We could totally make it work," Buck continued, tapping anxiously on the side of his now half empty -because he definitely wasn't in a half full type of mood right now - glass. "Would it be unconventional? Sure. But the benefits would outweigh any of the drawbacks if you really think about it."

So what if Eddie wasn't even the slightest bit attracted to him? As far as Buck was concerned, he'd gladly give up sex to have someone in bed with him at night just to hold him. His experience last night only proved that. Sex was good, but what he was really craving was what usually came after, the simple intimacy of being touched by another person just for the sake of being close.

Now that he’d experienced what sex was like when he was in a relationship and everything else that came with it, the experience from last night was incredibly unsatisfying and didn’t even begin to scratch that itch under his skin that always ached for more.

Buck knew that he had a tendency to self diagnose himself with a variety of ailments to the point where he was banned from using Web MD at work, but touch starvation was definitely an accurate assessment, there was no denying that one. 

Some nights, in the silence of his empty apartment, he was so painfully lonely he could barely bring himself to sleep. At least with roommates, as annoying as they could be, there was always someone occupying the space. But now, there was only Buck and his thoughts and an empty space in the bed beside him that was getting harder and harder to ignore.

Maybe Eddie was just upset last night and going along with it because he was sad and drunk, but Buck was serious. Painfully so.

"Buck," Eddie said again, not letting Buck and his rambling distract him. He knew him far too well to let that slide. "What happened last night?"

Buck sighed, exhausted down to the bone. "I ran into Ali last night. Yeah," he said wryly at the expression of shock on Eddie's face. "And it turns out, she’s engaged. To a cop.” 

Eddie's mouth literally dropped open in outrage. "What the fuck," he said, a statement rather than a question. “And what happened to your date? I imagine running into your ex must have made things awkward.” 

"Oh no, I don't think she particularly cared about anything I said or did. At this point I'm not even sure if it was a date at all," Buck admitted. "Turns out, she only wanted to sleep with me."

Eddie was silent for a moment. "Did you?"

Buck looked down, ashamed of his own desperation. He shrugged. “I figured it would be better than nothing, you know?”

"You knew it wouldn't be," Eddie said knowingly. "Not anymore."

Buck groaned and rested his head on the cool surface of the counter. "I hate it when you're right."

"One would think that you'd be used to it by now with how often it happens," Eddie said gravely and Buck opened his eyes to glare at him, but quickly lost the strength to keep it up.

"Are you sure you don't want to just date me?" he asked quietly, perfectly aware of how pathetic it made him sound. "We did bring up some good points last night."

Eddie didn't deny it, but he didn’t quite meet his eyes either. "I'm not going to let you settle for me just because you had a bad night," he said finally, being the reasonable adult that he always was. As a single dad with a kid relying on him, Buck supposed that he had to be.

But still. He was acting ridiculous so Buck had to set the record straight. " _Settle_ for you? It would be the other way around, if anything. Just because my baggage is invisible doesn't mean I don't have it."

And oh boy did he have a lot of it. He'd been lugging it with him since he was old enough to understand that his parents never really treated him with love and care like most parents treated their kids. Unless he was actively bleeding or seriously hurt, it was like he didn't even exist. It wasn’t an easy feeling to shake off, not even now that he was an adult.

Eddie hesitated for a brief moment, enough for Buck to get his hopes up but before he could say anything, the doorbell rang. Their food arrived, and effectively ended their discussion. Eddie snapped out of whatever train of thought was running through his mind and Buck could practically see him close back up and bury his feelings deep down where he was so convinced they belonged.

"No," Eddie decided. "That would be too much, even for us."

He grabbed his wallet and left to answer the door and Buck sighed, draining the rest of his water.

"If you change your mind, you know where to find me!" he called out but Eddie either didn't hear him or he ignored him. Either way, Buck was still pathetically single and that didn't seem like something that would be changing anytime soon.

And even though it ultimately led to nowhere, at least he could say that he gave it an honest try. And that had to count for something.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a purely light and fluffy story, but then they kept having all of these feelings and I couldn't just NOT include them and it all kind of spun out of control. But fluff is coming very soon, I promise!

"Eddie," Buck said as soon as the call finally connected. "Don't freak out."

But it was far too late for that. Eddie was already completely freaked out.

He'd just returned from a long, exhausting call and when he finally got the chance to check his phone, he found a missed call from Christopher's school and his stomach immediately filled with dread. To accompany it, there was also a text from Buck, telling him that Chris was safe and sound with him at the house. And while he knew that Buck had him, that he was safe, he still couldn't help but conjure up all of the worst case scenarios in his head. What was it this time? A broken bone? A fire at the school? Another fucking tsunami he wasn't aware of?

"What happened?" he asked, breathing through his panic.

"His teacher said that there's a bug that's been going around the school over the past week and it seems like he finally caught it," Buck explained. "They couldn't reach you, so they called me and I came to pick him up."

Eddie rubbed at his forehead, irrationally annoyed by the situation. He'd taken an extra shift today, and Christopher was supposed to stay with his abuela after school until this evening but this changed everything. He'd likely be out of commission tomorrow too and Eddie would have to get a day off to look after him and he could literally see as his carefully maintained schedule shattered into a million pieces right before his eyes and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

His life was like a house of cards. Knock one over and it all went to hell.

But it wasn't anyone's fault, not really, he reminded himself. These things were normal with young kids. This was hardly the first time that Christopher picked up a stomach bug and it won't be the last time. It just really sucked each time it happened for a variety of reasons, the worst one being just how miserable his son must be feeling right now.

"How is he doing?" Eddie asked.

"Mild fever, nausea, some stomach pain," Buck said. "He's just very tired and miserable in general, but it doesn't seem like anything too serious." Despite his words, Buck didn't sound too convinced. "I called Carla and she told me it's okay to give him something for the pain and to just keep him comfortable and hydrated."

Eddie let out a breath of relief. "Okay, that's great, Buck. Thank you so much. And I'm sorry you had to do this. I'll try to sort out something else right now so you can go home."

Carla was with another client right now, so that was out of the question. His aunt was at work and his abuela was at home, but he didn't want her to catch the bug, too, in her age and already frail health but what else could he do? They were short staffed at the station and as much as he wanted to, he couldn't just leave.

"You don't have to do that," Buck tried to reassure him. "You know I’m free today so I can stay with him here all day. It's really not a problem."

"But?" Eddie prompted, because he could tell that there was something.

"But I just- I don't know what else to do to help," Buck admitted. "I've started a batch of soup that he'll hopefully be able to keep down soon and I got him settled in the living room but he's still in pain and he keeps asking for you and I just- I wish I could do _more_."

The last remaining tension just evaporated from Eddie's shoulders. This? This he could handle. "The one thing you need to know about Christopher right now is that he absolutely despises being sick, so that would explain his grumpy mood. Sadly, there's not much else anyone can do but keep him comfortable. But you're doing great, okay?" Eddie bit at his lip. "Are you really sure you want to do this, though? I could find someone else to step in." He didn't really know how or who, but he'd figure it out. He always did. "You've already done more than enough and I can't ask you to do even more-"

"I can do it," Buck interrupted, sounding a lot more confident this time around. "We're going to be fine. You just focus on work and free up your schedule for the next few days."

"I'll let Bobby know about both of us, because you're probably going to be next."

Buck groaned. "Can't wait."

Eddie chuckled. "I'll make sure to stop by the store and stock up on ginger ale and crackers on my way home from work," he said. "Can you put Christopher on the phone for a minute?"

"Of course."

There was some shuffling and then Christopher was saying, "Daddy, it hurts," sounding like he was on the verge of tears and it just broke his heart right in two. More than anything, he wished he could be there for him right now but he had a few more hours left to go. Just a few more hours.

"I know, and I’m sorry I can’t be there right now. But I’ll be home soon, I promise," he said, trying to be as reassuring as he could. He chatted with Chris for a few minutes, reassuring him that he'll be back in no time at all and to hang on tight. "And be good for Buck, okay? He's only trying to help."

"Okay," Chris promised quietly, sounding a little more settled now if nothing else and handed the phone back to Buck.

"Have any more advice?" Buck asked and Eddie ran through his usual list of tips and tricks specific to Christopher.

"Put on his favorite movie, wrap him up in a bunch of blankets and when he looks like he's about to puke and insists he's fine, don't buy it. Nine times out of ten, he definitely will."

Buck snorted. "Trust me, I've already learned that one the hard way. I don't think your carpet will ever recover. Or my shirt.”

Eddie winced in sympathy. "Welcome to parenthood." Eddie looked up to see Bobby waving him over into his office and sighed. "Look, I have to go now but I'll make sure to keep my phone on me as much as I can. If you need anything, just call, alright? And if I'm not answering, try Carla. And if _she’s_ not answering-"

Buck laughed. "Get back to work, Eddie. I think I've got it handled from here."

"I know you do," Eddie said, and he wasn't even surprised that he fully meant it. He couldn't be there for his son, and it was going to weigh on him without a doubt, but as far as he was concerned, Buck was the next best thing.

And wasn't that one hell of a wakeup call?

*

By the time he returned home, loaded with two recyclable bags full of groceries, he was beyond tired. They had another call that took forever and required all hands on deck right before the end of his shift and he cashed in at least another two hours of overtime. Thankfully, Buck had kept him regularly updated throughout the day and he knew that Christopher enjoyed his soup and was feeling much better now compared to this morning.

The lights in the living room were shut off, the muted TV the only thing illuminating the room and Eddie quietly put away the groceries before he went to check on his boys.

Both of them were sound asleep, Buck sprawled uncomfortably over the couch in a sitting position and Christopher's head resting on his lap. Eddie checked Christopher's forehead for a fever and was relieved to find that he was only slightly warm to the touch, not a cause for concern. As much as he didn't want to disturb him, he couldn't let him spend the night on the couch which was, admittedly, uncomfortable so he picked him up as softly as he could manage and carried him to the bedroom. Chris stirred a bit, but quickly settled back to sleep, clearly exhausted, and Eddie quietly left the room, leaving the door cracked open so he’d be able to hear his son if he needed anything throughout the night. 

When he returned to the living room, Buck was already awake and rubbing tiredly at his eyes. He looked flushed and exhausted and when Eddie put his palm on his forehead, it was hot to the touch from the fever. Eddie bit back a sigh.

Bucks immune system was a disaster. As much as his body was durable and surprisingly resistant to the worst of injuries, he was always ridiculously susceptible to picking up various bugs and viruses in record timing. If someone so much as sneezed next to him in the morning, by the evening he was already sniffling himself.

"I'm fine," Buck insisted, getting up and trying to pull on his jacket with a lot of difficulty. "I'm just tired."

"Yes, because you're running a fever," Eddie patiently told him, blocking the door to prevent his escape. "There's no way I'm letting you drive like this."

"Then I'll just order an Uber," Buck said, giving up on his jacket and throwing it over his arm. "Eddie. I am fine."

Eddie didn't budge. "Let me take care of you, Buck. It's the least I can do." Buck wasn't convinced so Eddie pulled out the big guns. "Look, if you go home, I'm going to have to let Maddie know and she will definitely come check up on you. And you don't want to risk her catching it, do you?"

Was it fair to pull the pregnant sister card? Definitely not. But it did the trick and Buck slumped his shoulders and let Eddie usher him back to the couch. Only, they weren't going to the couch. It was already late and they'd already established that the couch was problematic. Eddie was taking him straight to his bed.

Buck put up a token protest, probably just to whine about something because he was worse than Christopher when he wasn't feeling well, but Eddie was a man on a mission. He didn't falter as he helped Buck into his bedroom, out of his jeans and into a pair of his most comfortable sweatpants that only barely came down to his ankles. He got him a bottle of water from the fridge along with some meds, Buck avoiding eye contact the entire time as he downed both.

"You know that I would have helped with Chris no matter what, right?" he finally asked. "You don't have to take care of me just because you feel guilty."

"I'm not doing this out of guilt. I'm doing it because I can and because I _want_ to, and I don't want to hear another word about it."

He bundled Buck up with a ridiculous number of blankets and grabbed one for himself with a spare pillow to go settle in on the couch. His entire body ached from his grueling shift and the couch was only going to make it worse, but he definitely wasn't going to make Buck sleep on that thing when he wasn't feeling well.

"Would you stay with me for a bit?" Buck asked quietly from his nest on the bed, his wide blue eyes pleading. "I’ve been napping with Chris on and off all day so I doubt I’ll be able to sleep any time soon and I could use some company."

Eddie didn't have to think twice about it. If it helped Buck feel better to have him here, then he'd be more than happy to stay. Besides, he was still running on adrenaline from his shift and he knew sleep wouldn’t come easy for a while for him, either.

Eddie also knew first hand that after spending all day with a kid – a sick, grumpy kid at that - sometimes you desperately needed a conversation with another adult. While Buck had been a witness to a few temper tantrums over the years, spending all day with Christopher and taking care of him in his foul mood full time was worlds away from just spending a few hours with him while he was on his best behavior.

Not that Buck would ever admit to feeling a bit overwhelmed by the new experience.

"Of course I'll stay."

Eddie turned off the main light, leaving only his nightstand lamp to illuminate the room in a soft glow and settled onto the bed next to Buck. His bed was just barely big enough to fit two adult men, and even with Buck laying on his back and Eddie propped up on side to face him, they were far too close together than any friends had a right to be.

He suddenly remembered the scene opposite of this one from just a few days ago, Eddie laying on his back and waking up to find Buck wrapped around him. If he ignored the fact that they were both gross and that he had a splitting headache, it was actually kind of nice. It had been a very long time since he woke up with someone else in bed beside him.

But then he’d remembered their conversation from the night before and locked himself in his bathroom so he didn’t disturb Buck with his impending freak out. This was why he never drank. He inevitably did something stupid that he had to beat himself up over when he sobered up, and he already had far too many things to worry about on a daily basis without adding a sexuality crisis on top of it all.

Because Buck basically came out to him, didn't he? And when he asked Eddie if he was into men, drunk Eddie didn’t immediately deny it. So now sober Eddie had to deal with it instead, which was very fucking inconvenient.

A part of him had hoped that Buck wouldn’t mention it so they could both pretend it never happened – along with all of the confessions they both made that night - but of course he had to blurt it out almost immediately. It was Buck, after all. He should have expected nothing less. 

The fact that Buck was clearly hiding something from him, something that was clearly really bothering him, came as a handy excuse to ignore his ramblings about anything else and wait him out. He was unusually tight lipped about his date so Eddie knew it had to be bad. But it ended up even worse than what he’d been expecting.

While Buck wasn’t as invested in Ali as he was with Abby, their breakup had seemed to hit him harder, probably because it was so sudden. He hadn’t seen it coming and it took him completely off guard. It was a shitty situation all around but what must have stung was that she gave him a specific reason for why she couldn’t stay with him – only to then end up with another man who completely defied those same reasons. 

It was her right, of course, and no one couldn’t hold that against her. She could date whoever she wanted without an explanation, but Eddie could already guess exactly what was going through Buck’s head. His pain was like an open book, just pouring out of him for all to see. He probably blamed it all on himself, thought that he wasn’t good enough, that she found someone better, that no one would ever love him the way he so desperately wanted.

Because that was what Buck seemed to want more than anything. For someone to just care for him the same way he cared for others. He gave so much of himself away every day and now all he needed was someone to give him even a fraction of that care back.

Over these past few days, Eddie managed to convince himself that he didn’t need this arrangement. That just because one date with a woman who fit him perfectly didn’t work out didn’t mean that nothing ever would.

But when he found himself in an impossible situation, who was there for him without him even needing to ask? Buck. Who was the person he would trust most to care for his son? Buck. And even now, when he was sick solely because he wanted to take care of Eddie’s son, he really would have gone home to deal with it all alone. Just because he didn’t want to be an _inconvenience_. 

As if he hadn’t been Eddie’s saving grace ever since they first met. He gave him Carla, saved his son’s life, saved _his_ life on countless occasions and been his closest friend and confidant for years.

Who had been giving him exactly what he needed for a while now, and Eddie just couldn’t see it.

But his hesitation about entering this arrangement with Buck didn’t stem from the things that he thought Buck wouldn’t be able to do for him. It was from Eddie not knowing what he could possibly do _for_ Buck in return.

It felt selfish, having Buck step up even more in his life, help more around with Christopher and become basically his co-parent when Eddie didn’t have much else to offer. He didn’t have enough money or time for anything elaborate, for some fancy gift or a fun adventure, like all of those fun backpacking trips all over the country Buck used to do before he settled in LA. Hell, Eddie couldn’t even cook him a proper homemade meal without risking yet another hospital trip.

So how could he ever accept the arrangement like that without feeling like the most selfish person in the world? How could he take on the responsibility of making Buck feel loved when he never quite managed to figure out how to do the same with his own wife?

Shannon had probably died never really knowing just how much he loved her. Because he’d never done a good job of telling or showing her, playing the role of a strong, tough man he was raised to be and keeping his feelings to himself instead, like that had ever done any good for anyone. And that was, and likely always will be, his biggest regret. She was his everything and he’d let her down, over and over and over again.

So how was he supposed to do that for anyone else? How can he know that he won’t be just another one in a line of people who’d used Buck for what he could give them, without giving him anything in return?

“How are you feeling?” Eddie asked him now, giving into the urge to run his fingers through Buck’s damp curls, because it always helped soothe Christopher and Buck didn't exactly hide how much he enjoyed it either.

“Like crap,” Buck said, turning his head to face him. “I should let Bobby know that I won’t be coming in tomorrow.”

“Already done,” Eddie assured him. He’d texted Bobby as soon as he settled Buck into bed and piled him with meds and blankets. They were both expecting this to happen as soon as Eddie updated Bobby of the situation, and the text Eddie sent him was just to confirm what they already knew. “We’re both free tomorrow and then we’ll see how it goes from there.”

“I should get out of your hair,” Buck said, though he didn't try to get up. “You’ll have your hands full with Christopher. I’ll be just fine sleeping this off in my apartment.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, not even willing to entertain the idea of letting Buck got anywhere right now. “Absolutely not. The worst has already passed, he’ll be fine. And if you think that he won’t try to take care of you tomorrow to return the favor and make you watch Finding Nemo at least another half a dozen times, then I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Eddie,” Buck said very seriously. “If I have to see that clown fish one more time, I’m going to lose my fucking mind.”

Eddie chuckled. “I’ll try to talk him into switching to something else, but I can’t make any promises.”

Buck groaned. “Fine. I guess I can live with that.” 

Because of course Buck would. He’d watch that movie on repeat for the rest of his life without a single complaint just to make Christopher happy and Eddie’s heart was so full it felt like it could burst.

“Listen, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” Eddie said before he could change his mind again. 

“That doesn’t sound ominous at all.”

"It's not." Eddie paused. "It wasn’t supposed to be, at least."

Now he definitely had Buck's full attention. "What is it?"

Eddie pulled his hand back because it didn't seem conductive to the upcoming conversation. "It's about that thing we talked about the other night. You know, your idea of a platonic relationship?"

Buck's eyes widened with realization, and whatever Eddie was expecting him to say it definitely wasn't an apology.

"I'm so sorry, Eddie," he said, sitting up despite Eddie's protests. "I know I've been pushy about this, when you thought it was only a joke and I'm sorry that I've made you uncomfortable-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Eddie interrupted. "You haven't made me uncomfortable." Buck simply gave him a look and Eddie corrected himself, "Okay, maybe I was. But that had nothing to do with you. I was just stuck in my own head, overthinking... well, everything."

"I never should have brought it up in the first place," Buck said, defeated. "I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't, but that's not an excuse." He looked away. "I know I can get very needy sometimes, especially when alcohol is involved and it wasn't fair for me to project all those wants and needs onto you and put you in an awkward position. And for that, I’m sorry."

"There is nothing to be sorry for," Eddie said. "Because from what I remember, I didn't exactly discourage you. I was hesitant, yes, but you didn't do anything wrong."

Buck scoffed. "I was just being my usual self and it could have easily ruined our friendship."

"Hey," Eddie said sharply. "You haven't ruined our friendship, not by a long shot. And nothing ever will, got it? We've been through far too much shit together to let anything ruin what we have now."

Buck nodded. "You're right. Sorry."

Eddie sighed. Buck clearly didn't believe him, at least not fully, and Eddie once again had to fight the urge to track down whoever made Buck believe that he was too much and beat some sense into them. Because the things Buck wanted from this didn't make him needy, they made him _human_. Buck seemed almost conditioned to believe that needing - or god forbid, _wanting_ \- anything made him a nuisance.

Here he was, sick and feeling horrible and he still insisted that he should deal with it all alone, that Eddie was doing too much when he'd barely done anything at all. Giving Buck meds and making him comfortable and just keeping him company was the bare minimum of what anyone would have done in this situation and he still thought he was asking for too much.

It only served to make Eddie more determined to take care of Buck when for some unfathomable reason, people weren't already lining up to do it instead. And while Eddie didn't have much to offer, he cared a hell of a lot about him and he'd do his best to make sure that Buck felt that care every single day. That he knew that he wasn't alone, that he was loved and important because someone clearly fucked up big time at some point in his life and Buck was still struggling to put the pieces back together.

"I need you to be completely honest with me now," Eddie said, keeping a careful watch over Buck and his reaction. "Did you mean it? Do you actually want to give this whole relationship thing a try?"

Buck shrugged, not giving an exact response which was a response in and of itself. And that was all Eddie really needed to know.

"Let's do it," he said. Buck turned to him, clearly surprised by Eddie's sudden change of mind. "I mean it. I did some thinking over these past few days and realized that we're already ridiculously close for two people who are just friends, like everyone keeps pointing out. So we might as well fully commit and reap all the benefits that come with it, too."

He wasn't sure exactly what those benefits even _were_ yet but hell, if it meant waking up with Buck by his side again, sign him right up.

"You're actually serious," Buck breathed out, looking at Eddie like he'd finally lost his mind. And maybe he had but he couldn't bring himself to care all that much. They've both loved and lost and gotten hurt and they've had enough. Was it healthy? Probably not. Eddie didn't go this into depth in his few mandatory therapy sessions. But it wasn't going to hurt to try, either.

If it worked, great. If not, like he said to Buck, it wasn't like it would ruin their friendship. They were rock solid and he had all the confidence in the world that they'd remain that way no matter what came of this arrangement.

With nothing to really lose, the odds were definitely in their favor.

Hit with an idea, Eddie scrambled out of bed and rounded it so he was on Buck's side and cleared his throat as he lowered himself on one knee, the classic proposal position.

"Evan Buckley-" he started and Buck interrupted him with a laugh, slapping a hand over his mouth to keep it contained at Eddie's reproachful look. Eddie cleared his throat again and took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure and not burst out laughing because this was insane. They were both completely insane. "Evan Buckley, will you do me the greatest honor of becoming my platonic boyfriend?” Buck said nothing, speechless and Eddie gentled his voice as he asked, now more serious, “Will you settle for me, Buck?” 

Buck stared at him with tears in his eyes, whether from his barely concealed laughter or from genuine emotion, Eddie couldn't tell. But it was definitely laughter that won out in the end, Buck laughing through his agreement.

"Yes, Eddie. A million times yes!"

Eddie couldn't help but roll his eyes at the most cliche phrase ever, even as he laughed at the sheer absurdity of the situation. They should definitely talk about what this meant for them going forward, hash out all the details, but then Buck suddenly stopped laughing and Eddie just barely managed to move out of the way as lurched off the bed and ran past Eddie and into the bathroom, the sound of retching quickly following his departure.

On second thought, maybe they should save that conversation for some other day.

Sighing, he grabbed Buck's water bottle and joined him in the bathroom just as Buck flushed the toilet. He helped him stand up and walk to the sink and patiently waited as Buck washed out his mouth and took a few tentative sips of cool water.

"I bet you're already regretting your proposal," Buck said in a hoarse voice, meeting Eddie's eyes in the mirror. He looked flushed and his thin shirt – which Eddie realized was his at a second glance, courtesy of Christopher - was sweat soaked and clinging to his shivering frame.

Eddie imagined Buck all alone at his apartment, spending the night curled up on the bathroom floor because there was no one there to bully him back to bed, knowing that he wouldn't have even mentioned being sick to anyone, let alone called for assistance. No one would even know he was sick in the first place and he'd play it off as nothing, just like he always did.

Eddie shook his head. "For better or for worse, isn't that how the saying goes? I'm afraid you're stuck with me now."

Buck smiled and opened up his mouth to say what would no doubt be a smartass response, probably something along the lines of _I don't know, Diaz, you're the one who was actually married so you tell me_ – when his face suddenly fell and he scrambled for the toilet again.

Eddie sighed. He had a feeling that they were both in for a very long night. But at least this time, Buck wasn’t going through it alone. Because Eddie wasn’t planning on going anywhere any time soon. 

Now he just had to find a way to make Buck believe that, too.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is the part where I should remind everyone that this story has been tagged as slow burn for a reason, so don't kill me!

“So,” Buck said as Eddie returned to the bedroom, Christopher safely tucked into his bed and fast asleep. “How is this going to work?”

He was still in Eddie’s bed where he spent most of his day, alternating between sleeping and hanging out with the Diaz boys as he recovered from his turbulent night. He was pretty sure his soul left his body along with all the food he’d eaten in the last _year_ and he was completely exhausted. Stomach viruses were the worst.

Eddie, the lucky bastard with an enviably strong immune system, had somehow managed to survive the plague scot free, which definitely wasn't fair. He got through it with only some minor sleep deprivation because he refused to leave Buck to suffer alone through the night and to regularly check up on Christopher who joined them in bed in the early morning hours.

It was actually kind of nice, Buck wasn’t going to lie. It had been a long time since someone cared for him when he was sick and Eddie had gone all out to help Buck feel better, or as best as he could considering the circumstances. He was taking his new role as Buck’s platonic boyfriend very seriously. Buck was impressed. Which was exactly why he had to ask.

They only really broached the topic of it while drunk and they hadn’t exactly gone into details other than that it was going to be awesome. Buck didn’t know what to expect next, least of all what was now expected of him.

It was all kind of confusing and they should probably discuss it sooner rather than later.

Eddie put away his phone and pulled up the covers over them as he settled into bed. “I turned on the alarm for the morning. Carla will come to stay with Chris since it’s the weekend and I’ll drop you off at home to get some more rest before I head to work-”

“I know that.” He gestured between them. “I was talking more about the whole _us_ situation.”

“Oh.” Eddie frowned, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy. “Why are you asking me? I thought this was your idea.”

"It was more of a vague concept, really," Buck admitted sheepishly. "But you seemed to understand what I meant and when you proposed to me, I figured that you knew what you were doing."

A moment of silence followed his admission.

"So, what you’re saying is that we both agreed to this crazy idea without even knowing exactly what we were agreeing to?"

Buck shrugged. "Pretty much."

Buck really hadn't put much thought into his initial idea, past the fact that he was sick of dating and that Eddie was great. But as much as he was okay exploring the bounds of his own sexuality, he didn't know how comfortable Eddie was with doing the same thing. Did that even matter? He remembered mentioning the word platonic, which meant no romance, right? But how would a relationship work without that aspect? Wouldn't that just be a friends with benefits thing then?

When in doubt, Buck did what he always did when he found himself with a question he couldn't quite answer on his own – he did research.

"What are you doing?" Eddie asked him as Buck picked up his phone and started rapidly typing.

"Research," Buck easily said, scrolling through the many links that popped up from his first search. They couldn’t have been the first ones to come to the same conclusion that dating your best friend would be the best option when the whole dating thing kept letting you down. Though, judging by the search results, they might just be the first people crazy enough to actually go through with it.

Eddie shifted until he was pressed against Buck's side and Buck tilted his phone screen so they could both see it.

“Platonic love and platonic friendships are marked by the absence of physical or sexual desire,” Buck read out loud, frowning in thought. “Platonic basically just means the absence of romance and sex.”

Eddie hummed. “That’s for friendship, though, right? What about an actual relationship?”

Buck scrolled further down and clicked through the articles but they weren’t of much help. He and Eddie were friends who were entering a relationship, only it wasn’t about love, but rather companionship. Neither of them had romantic feelings towards each other, so these articles didn’t exactly apply to them.

“Nothing that’s very helpful to us,” Buck said, typing out other searches and opening the same generic articles over and over again. “Like, we’re not in love, right? And we’re okay with that. But we also want to date each other properly, and not just be very close friends.”

“Right,” Eddie agreed, then pulled away. “I guess we’ll just have to figure it out ourselves then.”

Buck put away his phone and sat cross legged across Eddie so they could properly face each other. “Where do we start?”

Eddie shrugged. “Well, I think we can both agree that we both want the physical part of a relationship, so the standard shows of affections are a given.”

Buck nodded. He himself was pretty comfortable and eager to get started on all of those, but he also knew that his situation was slightly different than Eddie’s. Buck was very open to the possibly of being bisexual. It was something he’d been considering for a while and just never got around to exploring, but Eddie had firmly denied being anything other than straight. Obviously, he wasn’t homophobic in the slightest, but Buck also knew it was different when it was you rather than someone else.

“Is there something you don’t feel comfortable doing?”

“I don’t think so?” Eddie took a moment to think about it. “Obviously, sex if off the table. The definitions were pretty clear about that, which is fine by me. Who needs sex anyway, right?” Eddie joked and Buck made an involuntary sound of protest. Eddie narrowed his eyes at him. “But you don’t seem to agree.”

“It’s not that I don’t agree,” Buck said immediately. “When I first brought it up, sex wasn’t even something I was considering and it’s definitely not a priority _or_ a dealbreaker. Obviously, I’d never force you into anything you aren’t comfortable with.” It was extremely important to let Eddie know that. “But I also really love sex and giving it up for good is definitely not something I want to do.”

“I’m not asking you to do that,” Eddie said. “Hell, I don’t want to fully give it up either. It’s just that we never really brought up the length of this arrangement, did we? Would this be for, well, _forever_? Or is there an expiration date?”

And this? This was something they definitely should have talked about before they just jumped headfirst into dating. Because this was something Buck hadn’t even touched upon in his own head yet.

“I don’t know,” Buck admitted. “But maybe committing to forever without even seeing if it works first might be a bit of an overkill.”

“Now that we can agree on,” Eddie said. “We’ll give it a try, see how it goes and then decide. Like, what if one of us happens to meet someone they want in a romantic way somewhere down the line?”

“Then we break it off and go back to being just friends,” Buck easily said. He sincerely doubted that their potential future partners would be comfortable with their boyfriends having another boyfriend on the side, purely platonic or not. “Yeah, that could work.” He made a face. “But seeing how our last attempts went, that could take a while. Which, once again, brings up to the topic of sex.”

Could he be perfectly happy and content with Eddie without any sex? Sure. But if this was going to take a while, they’d need to think of something because after being single for so long, Buck found that he wasn’t overly fond of celibacy.

“I guess we could always have an open platonic relationship?” Buck suggested. “We’d date each other in a platonic way, but we could still have meaningless sex with other people?”

He knew it wouldn’t work as soon as he said it. Sure, it seemed like the ideal solution to their problem. They’d have it all but the sex, and just find it somewhere else to keep their lust at bay. Problem solved, right? But Buck had already established that he desired sex from a partner, and going back to sleeping with random people knowing it won’t lead to anything didn’t sound appealing in the slightest. And ‘cheating’ on Eddie in any way didn’t sit well with him either. 

Eddie shook his head. “No. I’ve seen people do open relationships while in the army, and they never led to anything good. And if we’re doing this for real, if we’re calling each other boyfriend and dating in all the ways that matter, then I don’t feel comfortable with either of us sleeping with other people. It’s just not for me.”

“I get it,” Buck said. “It’s not really for me either. I was just throwing it out there as an option.”

They were silent for a moment, both trying to think of a solution. Maybe this whole thing wasn’t such a good idea if they couldn’t even figure their way around the very first roadblock. Or maybe Buck should stop thinking with his dick and appreciate a good thing that was presented to him. He’d managed without sex for so long and the benefits of this relationship would be more than worth another little while of abstinence.

This was a new experience for both of them, and Buck was making it unnecessarily complicated and convoluted when in reality, it was pretty simple.

“We agreed on being _platonic_ boyfriends,” Buck finally said, “and you’re not even into men, which is fine since our sexualities aren’t even relevant when it comes to this. So yeah, obviously sex is not even an option on the table and I’m perfectly okay with that, it just took me a moment to get there. What’s next?”

Eddie bit at his lip. “Look, Buck, I don’t want you to give something up just for me-“

“I’m not, though,” Buck said, and it wasn’t even a lie. “Not really. Even if we don’t do this, it’s not like I’ll go around dating or sleeping with anyone else for quite a while. The only difference is that at least with this I’ll have you.”

It really was that simple in the end.

“Okay,” Eddie said. “But we should keep the topic open for future discussion. We can both agree that right now, sex is not a priority and since that always tends to be the easy part of a relationship anyway, we can figure it out later.”

“Communication _is_ very important in any relationship,” Buck agreed, nodding. “So if we just keep checking in with each other as we go along, or if something changes, we can both adjust accordingly.”

“Exactly,” Eddie said. “Is there anything else we should discuss?”

“Well, there’s kissing,” Buck offered with a grin and Eddie rolled his eyes. “What? Kissing doesn’t have to be romantic. Some people enjoy kissing for just what it is.”

“Fine,” Eddie said, tilting his head up in invitation. “Lay one on me.”

Buck leaned back, startled. “What?”

He was mostly joking when he brought up kissing and he definitely wasn’t expecting Eddie to just easily agree and go along with it.

Eddie rolled his eyes again, but he seemed more amused than anything else. “Well, we did just agree that we’d test out how far our limits went. We might as well do it now while we’re already talking about it.”

“Right…” Buck trailed off, still suspicious. “Are you sure? Don’t just do it for me or because you feel like you owe it to me or anything-”

“Buck,” Eddie interrupted. “I don’t know how much clearer I can make that I want this. Do you need a written consent form?” 

“No,” Buck said, though he honestly wouldn’t have minded one, just to make extra sure. “You promise it’s okay and that you’re not going to go all weird on me later?”

Eddie sighed, clearly exasperated. “Is this how you always act when people try to kiss you? Because no wonder you can’t get a date if that’s the case.” Buck said nothing, waiting for the promise and Eddie rolled his eyes again. “Yes, Buck. I _promise_ I won’t get weird about it. Now will _you_ stop being weird and just kiss me already? One of us still has to go to work tomorrow.” 

“Okay,” Buck breathed out, finding himself uncharacteristically nervous at the prospect of kissing Eddie. It wasn’t something he’d ever really considered before and he didn’t know what to expect. They had great chemistry, so the kiss might result with those famed romance novel fireworks going off, or maybe it would be so bad that it would end their friendship for good.

Both were entirely unrealistic scenarios, of course, so Buck would be more than happy to end up somewhere right in the middle.

But they couldn’t know for sure until they tried.

Eddie was the one who leaned forward first, taking initiative when faced with Buck’s reluctance and Buck followed after a brief moment of hesitation. Both of them let their eyes close as their lips brushed together, first so light they were barely touching and then a little firmer until they were pressed together in an approximation of a kiss.

Or what an inexperienced teen might imagine a kiss would be like. Because there were definitely no fireworks here, nothing earth shattering or life changing. Kind of awkward, if anything, because it was with Eddie and Buck still wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

Neither one of them moved for an excruciatingly long moment, didn’t push for more or tried to deepen it. Buck was practically holding his breath, unsure on how to react or what to do, having forgotten what normal people were supposed to do when kissing someone. Laughing probably wasn’t the ideal reaction, was it?

It was Buck who pulled away first and he squinted one eye open to take in Eddie’s reaction. Eddie’s face was contorted into a constipated expression, like he’d just tasted something awful and Buck couldn’t help it; he laughed. The laughter came without his permission, he couldn’t hold it back and even though Eddie tried to appear offended, he was already cracking up as well. 

“This was probably the most awkward kiss of my entire life, and I’ve kissed a lot of people,” Buck said after he managed to catch his breath. It wasn’t the _worst_ kiss of his life - because that one involved a lot of unwanted tongue action - but it wasn’t that far behind.

Some things were just too weird to do with your best friend.

Eddie wrinkled his nose as he leaned back and lowered himself back onto the pillows. “It wasn’t that bad,” he said, still trying to be diplomatic even though he clearly agreed. He tugged at Buck until he also laid down properly next to him and swung an arm over his waist to pull him in closer. “See? I didn’t even go weird on you yet.”

“The key word here being _yet_ ,” Buck muttered but allowed Eddie to arrange them to his satisfaction until he was basically sprawled half over Eddie with his head resting on his chest.

Eddie ignored his worried mutterings and switched off the lamp, letting the room get swallowed up by darkness. “At least now we know what works for us and we can proceed without worrying about crossing any boundaries. Are you sure you’re still up for this? Because if anyone is being weird here, it’s you.”

As if Buck could change his mind now, when Eddie was nice and warm along his side, rubbing comforting circles against his back in a way that had his eyes fluttering shut, already half asleep. Though that wasn’t exactly surprising, after the day he’d had. This here was exactly what he’d been craving for so long and he wasn’t crazy enough to give it up just because of a little awkward peck on the lips.

“I’m sure,” Buck said, snuggling closer to Eddie’s side, his entire body relaxing into the touch. “We’re going to be the best couple ever.”

Eddie chuckled and Buck felt the vibration from where his head was lying comfortably on his chest. “I don’t think it’s a competition.”

“Well, if there was one, we’d win it without a doubt.”

He felt Eddie sigh, but if he said anything after that, Buck didn’t hear it. He was already fast asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Buck spent the next day in bed, sleeping on and off and doing general chores around his apartment that he’d been neglecting in favor of hanging out with the Diaz boys at every available opportunity. He and Eddie kept in touch through texts throughout the day like they always did, and no mention of their last conversation was made, or of the awkward kiss. Pretty much everything remained the same and they went back to normal, only slightly improved with the new addition of their relationship.

Or so he thought.

As it turned out, the transition from being best friends to boyfriends was not as simple as Buck thought it would be.

Buck arrived to work next morning, went to greet Eddie with a normal pat on the back and then paused mid gesture, his brain whirring with questions. Was this the appropriate way to greet Eddie now? They were technically boyfriends now, so they had to keep things professional at work but surely a pat on the shoulder was appropriate? Maybe not? Were they supposed to do something else? Buck had absolutely no clue.

For as much as he was secretly waiting for Eddie to freak out about it, he was the one freaking out instead.

Eddie gave him a weird look, confused by Buck’s outstretched hand and in the end, they settled for a weird handshake instead, much to the confusion of their coworkers.

They talked big game, came up with all of these plans, but when it actually came time to put them into play, they were both dragging their feet. If anything, they touched each other _less_ now than when they were just friends, which basically defeated the whole purpose of their arrangement. Even the casual touches from before, the pats on the back or sitting close together while watching TV seemed daunting, because now there was intent behind it that didn’t used to be there.

Buck really thought that this was going to be easy, a walk in the park because it was _them_. But in the end, it was all so much easier said than done.

Eddie wasn’t faring much better either, probably affected by Buck’s weird behavior. They kept sharing these loaded looks, reaching out to touch each other from pure muscle memory from years of doing it, only for them to suddenly pause and keep their hands to themselves. Their friends were looking at them like they’ve lost their minds, and Bobby had even pulled Buck to the side to ask him if everything was okay.

“We couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been acting a little strange today,” Bobby said, watching Buck carefully. “Did something happen between you and Eddie?”

Oh, Bobby had no idea. But he and Eddie had agreed to keep this to themselves for a little while, until they adjusted and got more comfortable with the change before they shared the news with their friends and family, mostly because they had a feeling that they weren’t exactly going to be overly thrilled about it.

“We’re perfectly fine, Cap,” Buck said, though Bobby didn’t look like he quite believed him. But after a few more questions, he reluctantly accepted it as truth because they really _were_ fine. They still talked like they usually did, they weren’t icing each other out or throwing out any passive aggressive remarks. They were just acting a little odd, and it was really throwing them all off.

The following week was much of the same. They worked perfectly on the field, covering each other’s backs and they even regularly hung outside of work just like they always did. Christopher was always there, which was a perfect distraction because as soon as he went to bed and they were left alone, it was like they completely forgot how to act like normal people.

It was one thing to share a bed under the cover of the night, when they were both exhausted and ready to crash, but it was a whole other to do it in the light of day when he could clearly see every expression on Eddie’s face and the chance of fucking things up was so much greater than at any other time.

They talked about their general limits and boundaries, so he knew it would be fine to reach out and hold Eddie’s hand while they watched a late night movie on his couch, but there was this voice in his head that always prevented him. What if Eddie didn’t _want_ to hold his hand? Buck always was a bit touchy and clingy and he didn’t want to make Eddie feel like he had to reciprocate his touches if he didn’t want to. Just because they were now boyfriends didn’t mean that they had to touch all the time, even though that was generally what Buck was like in a relationship.

Then there was the whole issue about his boyfriend being Eddie of all people. Well, not really an issue in that sense, more like a major adjustment in the way they acted around each other. They didn’t hold hands or cuddle up on the couch while watching a movie or any other things couples did. And it was harder than expected to connect those two parts of his life; being a boyfriend with being Eddie’s boyfriend in particular.

And Buck had no idea what to do to bridge that annoying gap between them, and his doubts about this whole thing were becoming stronger by the day. It had been more than a week since their last conversation and nothing had progressed since. If anything, they were going in reverse at full speed.

And while Buck could acknowledge that maybe they should have thought this through in more depth before they started it, that didn’t mean that he wanted it to end. So when Eddie invited him over to his house the following day, acting all cryptic and refusing to divulge any information, Buck had the horrible feeling that this was it. Eddie was going to break things off between them and it would all be his fault.

It didn’t help that Eddie wasn’t exactly the type to go on spontaneous outings, which immediately made Buck more than a little nervous. All he said was that Buck should dress nice and comfortable and to bring a jacket, because it might get a little cold.

But if he had something planned for them, as mysterious as it was, he didn’t plan on breaking things off with Buck, did he? Buck just needed a little more time to figure things out, he was sure of it. All he could think about was getting to wake up in Eddie’s bed with Eddie wrapped around him and how he wanted to do it again, and soon. He just had to find a way to convince Eddie of that, too. 

Thankfully, with Christopher there as a buffer, it would give Buck some more time to figure out what to say to Eddie and figure out a way to make him reconsider his decision to end it.

When he arrived to the house, Buck chased away his nerves and his doubts and let himself inside. They knew he was coming, and Eddie was probably wrangling Christopher into getting ready for going out so it would save him the time from having to answer the door.

“Hey guys,” Buck called out when he got inside, peeking into the living room to try and find them. “Are you ready to go?” Eddie walked out of his bedroom, alone and with a backpack swung over his shoulder. “Where’s Christopher?”

“He’s at his abuela’s for this afternoon,” Eddie said and handed him a bottle of sunscreen he pulled out of the backpack. “Put this on.”

Buck stared at the bottle and then at Eddie, completely and utterly confused. “I thought he was going with us?”

As far as Buck was aware, Christopher was with Eddie all day after school, with no other plans to go anywhere since Eddie was free from work. And why the sunscreen? Were they going to the beach? But then again, why would Eddie tell him to dress warm and to bring a jacket if they were going to the beach? What the hell was going on?

“Hell no,” Eddie said immediately, scoffing. “What we’re about to do today is in no way, shape or form something I’d be comfortable with him ever doing. Besides, bringing my kid along to our first date seemed a bit counterproductive, don’t you think?”

“Our first date?” Buck frowned. “This is supposed to be a date?”

Buck was pretty sure he’d remember if Eddie mentioned that this would be a date. It seemed like pretty vital information to forget.

Eddie simply raised an eyebrow. “Well, we are sort of in a relationship, right? I know things have been a little weird between us since we decided to give this thing a try and it got me thinking. Just because we’ve been friends for years doesn’t mean we can easily jump into being something more. There’s an adjustment period involved. And what do new couples do when they first start dating?”

“They go on dates,” Buck said, finally catching up with Eddie’s line of thought. Only, “But I thought that the point of us dating each other was so we’d never have to go on another date again.”

Eddie pressed a hand over his chest, but Buck could still see a smile poking through the hurt expression on his face. “Are you saying that we’re already out of our honeymoon period?”

Buck rolled his eyes, but he was losing the battle of hiding his own smile. “You really didn’t have to do this,” he said instead. Buck wasn’t expecting to get romanced or surprised in any way when they started this and it was certainly not a requirement.

Eddie sighed and closed up his backpack to give his full attention to Buck. “I know. But I wanted to. When I said that I was taking this seriously, I meant it. I’m not about to half ass our relationship, platonic or not. Now hurry up and put your sunscreen on before we’re late for our date.”

“Do I get to at least know what we’re doing?” Buck asked, popping the cap and pouring some sunscreen over his fingers.

“It’s a surprise!” Eddie called out from the kitchen and Buck sighed as he applied the cream over his face and put it away. Yeah, he figured as much. But, he supposed, Eddie hadn’t steered him wrong before and he actually seemed kind of excited so Buck wasn’t about to ruin this for him.

When Eddie ushered him outside and into his car, Buck went without protest and asked about Eddie’s plans for the day, because of course Eddie had a full itinerary with things planned out down to the last minute.

“First, we’re going to grab a late lunch at that Italian place you love,” Eddie said, pulling out of the driveway. He gave Buck a side glance and smirked. “As for the rest, you’ll have to wait and see.”

Buck groaned but he was secretly delighted. Usually, he was always the one who was planning out fun dates and outings, and as someone who loved surprises, this was a welcome change of pace. The last thing he expected from Eddie was to take him out on a date, but Eddie did make a good point. Jumping from one end to the other was a little ambitious, even for them. Being friends and dating were two very different things, so taking it from the start and giving themselves time to get to know each other from a different perspective actually made a lot of sense.

But that certainly wasn’t going to stop Buck from making his own guesses as to where they were going.

Curious, Buck opened up the backpack Eddie put in his lap to search for clues. Eddie never said he couldn’t and hadn’t tried to stop him, so he must have been pretty confident that it wouldn’t be of much help. And he was right. Buck frowned as he sifted through the items; two bottles of water, a variety of snacks, two pairs of sun glasses, an extra blanket and a camera?

“Since when do you have a camera?” Buck asked, looking the item over. It was small and pretty light weight, but as far as he was aware, Eddie wasn’t much of a photographer. It was always Buck who insisted they take pictures and Eddie grudgingly complied most of the time. He was still yet to convince him to start posting more on Instagram, but at least he got him to make an account. Baby steps.

“It’s not mine,” Eddie said. “I borrowed it from Chimney specifically for this. I figured it might come in handy.”

“Come in handy for what?” Buck couldn’t help but ask, knowing that he wouldn’t get an answer he actually wanted.

Eddie smirked. “For taking pictures, of course. What else would you do with a camera?”

“And what about the rest? Are we leaving town?”

Because to him it looked like Eddie was preparing for some sort of road trip, which made absolutely no sense because Eddie still had to pick up Christopher tonight and they couldn’t do that if they left town.

“Not really,” Eddie said, taking a turn leading them to the restaurant. “But it’s going to be a bit of a drive to get there, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to be prepared.”

“You’re such a dad,” Buck said with a fond smile. He vividly remembered the chaos of Eddie’s house as he prepared for Christopher’s two week camp trip, when both Buck and Chris had to convince him that he really didn’t need two full suitcases and a change of clothes fit for all four seasons. Buck would be lying if he said he didn’t find the whole thing incredibly sweet and endearing.

“Thank you,” Eddie said, taking the words as a compliment that they were meant to be. The car came to a stop and Buck looked up to find that they’ve already arrived at their first destination of the date. “Are you ready?”

Buck closed the backpack and nodded as they both exited the car. “Lead the way.”

And Eddie did. He held out an expectant hand and Buck took it in his, letting Eddie lead him inside and towards their table that he’d already reserved in advance. He really had gone all out on this date, and if this was all they did tonight, Buck would be more than happy. But it wasn’t and he was sure that his excitement was obvious to everyone around them. 

Because, knowing Eddie, it could quite literally be _anything_ and Buck couldn’t wait to find out what else Eddie had in store for them this afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a single chapter but it got a little too long so I had to cut it into two parts, but the next one will be up tomorrow! Any guesses as to what Eddie has in store for Buck for their date? 
> 
> (And as a side night about the mid-season finale - What the fuck, Eddie? What the actual fuck?)


	7. Chapter 7

When Eddie first got the idea of taking Buck out on a date, he was having a lot of trouble figuring out what they might do that would actually bring them closer, show the other side of each other that they haven’t seen before, as something more than just friends. The first thought that popped into his head was taking Buck out for a nice meal, but he quickly wrote that one off when he realized that it wouldn’t even come close to accomplishing his goal.

He and Buck went out to eat together a lot, often with Christopher but also alone. All the date like things that a lot of couples did, they’ve already done. For example, sharing a dessert. Buck always insisted that he didn’t want to get anything sweet, claiming it was to keep up with his diet and then he ended up eating half of Eddie’s anyway.

No, it had to be something more than just a simple shared meal if they wanted to take things to another level in their new relationship, to make it feel like an actual date instead of just the two of them hanging out together.

It was pretty hard to think of something new and exciting, something to completely blow Buck’s mind because that was his main priority. Because as much as Buck was confident at the start of this, he was the one who was more hesitant out of two of them now. It was like he didn’t understand that the whole point of this arrangement was that they could be purely themselves, go fully over the top and just enjoy being in a relationship without the fear of rejection or judgment hanging over their heads.

Eddie had to do something so out there, so over the top to crush all the idea of boundaries out of Buck’s head and to finally get him to relax and enjoy this thing they had going on.

And then finally, it hit him.

“Oh my god,” Buck breathed out, looking in wonder at the rapidly inflating hot air balloon in front of them. “Are you serious? Is this really happening?”

“Yes, Buck,” Eddie said with a laugh, looking more at Buck than at the actual balloon and taking in his reaction. “It’s really happening.”

He’d spent hours scrolling online, going through articles mostly aimed at teenagers until he found what he was looking for. There were a lot of ideas for more adventurous dates, but they either required more time to plan and do or more equipment than either of them had at the ready and he really wanted to keep it as a surprise.

But once he stumbled upon this, he knew it was perfect.

Despite getting called out for multiple hot air balloon rides gone awry over the years, Buck still couldn’t get over his missed opportunity to go on one with Abby. Despite him being more than able to afford to go alone, he saw it as a pinnacle of romance for whatever reason and he refused to do it by himself. So when Eddie got the idea, and looked it up and actually saw that it was quite manageable to pull off if the weather allowed it, he knew he had to do it. It was too good of an opportunity to miss out on.

He’d called ahead and made them a reservation in the late afternoon, a perfect opportunity to watch the sunset together for even more date points.

Well, it was either that or watching the sunrise but Eddie wasn’t willing to get up that early on his day off, not even for Buck. He still wasn’t quite sure about the safety of the whole experience, flying in a basket attached only to a giant balloon with very little safety measures, because he had more than enough aircraft related trauma already to last him a lifetime. But Internet had assured him that it was perfectly safe - as long as the weather was good - and it would be a once in a lifetime experience if nothing else.

Watching the sunset together during a potential horrific accident waiting to happen was bound to bring anyone closer as well, so that was kind of a plus.

(Unless they died in a horrific crash, but if he was dead, Eddie supposed he wouldn’t have much to worry about anyway.)

It was fun watching Buck try to guess where they were going after their meal, his guesses getting more and more ridiculous over time and Eddie was making mental notes on things that Buck seemed the most excited about.

Thankfully, he hadn’t actually managed to guess their destination - because Eddie had made it clear that this was something he wasn’t eager to try the many times Buck invited him to go with him in the past - so knowing that Buck had already been here before, Eddie kept an eye on him so he could pinpoint the exact moment the realization hit him.

Buck was quiet as a mouse as they made their way up the dirt road, eyes wide and glued to the window and it wasn’t until they walked out of the car that Buck finally let out a breath.

And now here they were, about to walk into this death trap and Buck was beaming brighter than the sun itself and Eddie couldn’t help but grin back despite his own apprehension. Oh yeah, he was definitely nailing this platonic boyfriend thing.

They watched in silence as the balloon filled up the rest of the way and the crew running this excursion invited people to come on board.

“You really shouldn’t have, Eddie,” Buck told him as they waited for their turn. “I know that this must have been expensive.”

“Don’t worry about it, Buck,” Eddie said, waving off his concern. “I got us a good deal.”

It was only sort of a lie. Taking a group flight was definitely not as expensive as it would have been to take a ride alone, but it was still not an insignificant amount of money. But the look on Buck’s face alone was more than worth the price.

Eddie didn’t really need a new coffeemaker, anyway.

They climbed inside one by one into the cramped partition, and the anxiety in Eddie’s chest only rose as he gripped the side of the wicker basket. It felt so flimsy under his palms and he had no idea how this was supposed to be safe and so easily accessible for just about anyone willing to pay.

When the pilot announced takeoff, he gave into his nerves and gripped Buck’s hand tight, bracing for an abrupt, jolting motion. Buck gave him a concerned look but gripped his hand in his just as tight and didn’t say a word, simply allowed Eddie to hold on to him and gather his composure.

But surprisingly enough, the takeoff was much different than he was expecting. Instead of a harsh jump, as the balloon was filled with more air, the basket lifted gently away from the ground. It was a surreal feeling Eddie couldn’t quite put into words, but the gentle floating sensation of being in the balloon was worlds away from flying in a helicopter. Sure, if something went wrong they were pretty much screwed, but it was actually kind of peaceful.

The day really was perfect for this excursion, with very little wind to sway them off course and they spent the first little while just looking down and around in wonder over the city of Los Angeles and taking it all in. It didn’t take long for Buck to start sharing all the fun facts he’d learned about hot air balloons and Eddie was more than happy to listen, enjoying his excitement and enthusiasm.

There were a lot of couples taking pictures and Eddie pulled out the camera he borrowed from Chimney to take the best pictures, just in case their phones couldn’t do the view justice. The passengers right next to them were more than happy to help them out and Eddie didn’t think twice before he wrapped his arm around Buck’s waist and pulled him close as they posed for the picture. They took a few of them together, then of each other and so many more of the view below them.

Eddie stayed close - didn’t have an option to move farther away even if he wanted to in the cramped space of their basket - and Buck happily leaned into his touch, the grin still firmly in place. The sunglasses came in handy to protect their eyes from the harsh sun and the jackets kept them nice and cozy in this slightly chilly air this high up from the ground.

Somehow, Buck’s hand always found its way back into Eddie’s, too.

The hour flew by and before Eddie knew it, they were being prepared for a very bumpy landing and climbing out of the basket on shaky legs, the sun quickly falling over the horizon above them. They stuck around to watch as the crew deflated the balloon and for the complimentary champagne, toasting as the pilot recited the traditional balloonists prayer to end the flight.

“On one of the first successful flights, back in the 18th century, the passengers carried along a bottle of champagne to enjoy during the flight,” Buck explained in between sips. “But instead of actually drinking it, it was used as an apology to the farmers whose field their balloon had landed in, for disturbing their land and animals.” 

Eddie shook his head. “Of course you already knew that.”

The pilot was soon telling the same story to the rest of the passengers and Buck preened to have already known it before, so they finished their drinks and took an early leave. It was getting late and Eddie still had to pick up Christopher and try to convince Buck to stay over for a movie night. Not that he usually needed a lot of convincing.

The ride back was spent with Buck excitedly chattering about their experience and showing him many, _many_ pictures he took and posting them all over his social media with Eddie’s blessing. Their friends were going to have a lot of questions at work tomorrow, but seeing as their date was a major success and there would likely be many more in the future, they were bound to find out about this arrangement of theirs sooner rather than later anyway.

Eddie didn’t mind them knowing, since it wasn’t like this was a fling that wouldn’t last, but he couldn’t imagine that they’d be thrilled by this new development either. If anything, they’d probably get a lecture about being idiots so him and Buck were going to have to present a united front and convince them that they hadn’t gone completely insane.

But that was a problem for future Eddie to figure out. Right now, he had other, more important things in mind.

They picked up Christopher on the way to Eddie’s house and Buck joined him in the backseat so they could get caught up as if they haven’t seen each other in years instead of days, much to his son’s delight. Before he knew it, they were already at the house and Eddie was unlocking the front door and instructing Christopher to go change into his pajamas and pick out a movie for them to watch before bed because of course abuela made sure that he was well fed, despite Eddie’s insistence that he could, in fact, feed his own kid without issue.

He’d take it as an insult if she wasn’t intent on feeding anyone who happened to walk inside her house, him and Buck included. She’d sent them off with a container of freshly baked cookies and an invitation for a dinner sometime soon. _All_ of them, Buck included.

Eddie turned around to face Buck who was awkwardly standing at his porch, hands tucked away in his pockets and smiling that soft smile of his.

“Want to stay for a movie?” Eddie asked and Buck seemed surprised by the invitation for whatever reason. He’d assumed that it was obvious that he was welcome anytime, but apparently not. It was yet another thing he’d have to work on fixing, so Eddie made a mental note to figure it out later.

“You sure? Wasn’t this supposed to be a first date?” Buck asked, clearly teasing. “And you already want to introduce me to your kid?”

Eddie rolled his eyes and turned to go into the house. “Alright, smartass. Message received, loud and clear. I’ll see you tomorrow-”

Buck chuckled, and wrapped his hand around Eddie’s wrist to prevent him from leaving. “I was just kidding. I’d love to stay, if that’s okay with you.”

Buck didn’t remove his hand, simply let it slip further down until they were once again holding hands loosely in the scant space between their bodies. “So,” Eddie said, thumb brushing gently over the knuckles of Buck’s hand. “I’d say that the first date was a success.”

A week ago, them just standing this closely together in this position would have been awkward. Hell, a few hours ago too, when they were too busy overthinking every single innocent touch it would have been almost unimaginable.

But going up to that balloon and engaging in an activity as an actual couple and not just two friends hanging out… it was _different_. It changed Eddie’s perspective of Buck in a slight way, just enough to see this as being their new normal instead of pushing the boundaries of their already existing friendship. Which was exactly the point of the date, so Eddie would say it definitely worked just like it was supposed to. They’d barely stopped touching since they left and Eddie was reluctant to let him go just yet.

Buck wasn’t the only one who was touch starved.

“It really was,” Buck murmured looking down at him and even that was different, too. Eddie was used to being the taller one in most situations and having to look up at Buck like this was odd, though not in a bad way. Rather, it was something he could get used to. “I’d say that operation platonic boyfriends is officially a go.”

“It better be, because my phone has been blowing up all evening and we’re going to have a lot of explaining to do tomorrow at work,” Eddie said, already dreading it. They were all pretty close, but Eddie still felt slightly uncomfortable exposing so much about his personal life at work.

Though he probably should have thought about that before he decided to date Buck, his very open work partner.

“We’ll figure it out,” Buck assured him, stepping around him to push open the door. “But before that, I believe we have a movie to watch.”

Eddie let Buck pull him inside of his own house and to the living room where Christopher was impatiently waiting for them so they could start their typical movie night. Eddie ended up sitting in the middle of the couch, his son on one side and Buck on the other, no longer shy with his touches and fully pressed along his side.

If Christopher found their behavior weird, he didn’t mention it and Eddie let himself relax and chased all thoughts and worries out of his mind. He’d have to figure out how to explain his new relationship with Buck to his son, because he was still so young and he didn’t want to confuse him. Though knowing Chris, he’d probably just be thrilled that Buck was sleeping over more often and the logistics behind it all wouldn’t matter in the slightest.

Christopher managed to make it through the majority of the movie before he drifted off and Eddie carried him back to his bed to tuck him in. Buck was still on the couch when he returned, snacking on the cookies and Eddie slumped down to the couch next to him with a long, drawn out sigh. This time, Buck didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around his shoulders and pull him in even closer.

“Thank you again for tonight,” Buck said quietly in the silence of Eddie’s living room. “I had a really fun time.”

“We should definitely do it again sometime,” Eddie suggested, already thinking about all of the possibilities. 

“It’s going to be hard to top this, but I’m going to try,” Buck said and Eddie rolled his eyes.

“This is not a competition either, Buck,” he said, trying to tamp down his smugness because yeah, Eddie was definitely in the lead here.

Buck narrowed his eyes at him. “I’m going to blow your mind, Diaz. Same time next week?”

Eddie went through his schedule in his head and shrugged. “As long as Christopher can join us, that’s fine.”

As much as he enjoyed having some adult time with Buck, it was definitely not something he could make time for every single week without Christopher feeling excluded, which was the last thing he wanted. He was definitely going to be pouting about not going with them tonight once he inevitably found out about their adventure and Eddie would have to convince him it wasn’t something he actually wanted to try and that it was way less cool than it actually was.

Going on a date alone with Buck tonight was more of an exception rather than a rule, unfortunately.

“Of course,” Buck immediately said, like going without Christopher hadn’t even crossed his mind. “I’ll figure something out for all of us to do together. And don’t worry, I won’t keep it a surprise, because I’m not that cruel.”

_Unlike you_ went unspoken but Eddie heard it anyway and refused to acknowledge it. No matter how much he liked to whine, Buck loved surprises and he’d definitely enjoyed this one. Eddie, though? Not a fan of surprises. Especially not ones that involved his son. And Buck knew him well enough to not even bother trying.

They stayed on the couch together, watching the rest of the movie before Eddie let out a yawn and stood up. He put out a hand and said, “You want to stay the night?”

Buck raised an eyebrow. “You expect me to put out on the first date?”

Eddie raised an eyebrow right back. “Are you saying you don’t? Because if we’re talking about sharing a bed, you did put out before the first date. More than once, in fact-”

Buck took his hand and let Eddie pull him up, chuckling. “Fair enough. I didn’t bring a change of clothes, though.”

“Good thing we’re basically the same size then.”

It wasn’t like they hadn’t worn each other’s clothes before, so it really wasn’t a big deal.

They took turns in the bathroom to get ready for bed and then settled together under the covers, Buck on his side with Eddie wrapped around him this time and it was a perfect way to end the day. Buck was finally fully relaxed and he snuggled into Eddie’s hold without a single ounce of his previous hesitation.

“Will you stop holding back now?” Eddie murmured and Buck tensed up. “Trust me to tell you when something is too much, okay?”

Buck nodded and let the tension melt away. “Okay.”

And with that, the matter was finally put to rest. It seemed that Eddie’s plan had worked as intended and he couldn’t be happier by the outcome. Buck fell asleep in his arms almost immediately, drained from all the excitement of the day – and probably nerves, too – and Eddie allowed himself to follow soon afterwards.

All in all, he’d call their first date a major success. And he could only hope that there would be many more to follow.


	8. Chapter 8

Next week, Buck took them all rock climbing.

Eddie was very skeptical at first as Christopher was supposed to be joining them, but Buck had done his research well.

“There was a study done which showed that climbing is actually really beneficial for kids with CP,” Buck had said, looking both hopeful and nervous as he relayed all the relevant info to Eddie to try and convince him to get on board with the idea. “I already found a place that has a special climbing platform for kids like him and they assured me that it was perfectly safe.”

As much as Eddie was overprotective when it came to his son, he knew this wouldn’t be a thing if it wasn’t absolutely safe to do. Besides, he trusted that Buck wouldn’t put his son in an unsafe situation under any circumstances, because if there was one person with just as strong overprotective instinct when it came to Christopher, it was Buck. If he said it was fine, then Eddie believed him.

As expected, Christopher had the time of his life. As he got older and more aware of his limitations compared to other kids, Eddie resolved to do everything in his power to find alternatives that he could do, and Buck was much of the same. And since he absolutely idolized the two of them being firefighters and having all sorts of adventures at work that included climbing, he was very eager to try his hand at it, too.

He got off to a bit of a shaky start, unsure if he could do this, but with a lot of encouragement from both Buck and Eddie and the assigned instructor, Christopher got the hand of the activity in what felt like no time at all. He was having the time of his life and if Eddie got a little teary eyed when Christopher hit the top for the very first time, well, that was his business.

Buck, on the other hand, had no qualms about people seeing him cry and he definitely shed a tear or two in between taking enthusiastic pictures that he forwarded to Eddie so he could post them online for his family to see.

His parents would be up his ass about putting his son in ‘danger’ but he didn’t care. Christopher was happy and he was definitely going to be bragging about this to all his cousins and his sisters would no doubt give Eddie hell for putting the idea into the heads of his many nieces and nephews. He couldn’t wait to post them.

All in all, adaptive rock climbing was definitely something that they were going to be doing again in the future when they had the time. The instructor said they had special groups with a bunch of other kids and he signed Christopher up to join before they left, much to his son’s delight.

The week after that, Eddie took them to visit the Griffith Observatory and they spent hours there walking through the exhibitions and watching the stars and the night view of the city of Los Angeles took all of their breaths away. Christopher was going through a phase where anything space related was the coolest thing ever and it was what gave Eddie the initial inspiration. And seeing as Buck was the one who got him so interested into the topic in the first place, it just seemed like a perfect opportunity to turn into a date.

As expected, the two of them took the lead, chattering among themselves about all the cool and interesting facts while Eddie followed after them, shaking his head with fond exasperation.

He was never going to hear the end of this, and he very well knew it but seeing the two of them so excited and in their element was more than worth it. The next day, he ended up buying a ridiculous amount of star shaped glow in the dark stickers and spent a better part of the next afternoon gluing them on Christopher’s ceiling.

Buck’s freakishly long arms would have been very helpful, but this was something Eddie had to do alone. Because after finishing Christopher’s bedroom, he did the same in his own because Buck had admitted at the end of their Observatory tour that he always wanted those same stickers as a kid, and the ceilings in his apartment were too high and his landlord would lose her mind if he even tried to make it happen.

And knowing about Buck’s complicated relationship with his parents, and after Buck put so much effort and thought into planning dates that Christopher could take active part of, how could Eddie _not_? It was the least he could do, really. 

The look on Buck’s face when he spent the night the next day and saw them was priceless, as was the very enthusiastic cuddling he got in return.

And it only got better from there.

Despite a few bumps in the road at the very begging, their relationship had soon gained traction and they were thriving. The hesitation from before was long gone and they were constantly touching one another, with Buck spending the night in Eddie’s bed more often than not. The rest of their relationship changed surprisingly little, which only further proved how good of an idea this whole arrangement was.

This was all Eddie ever wanted out of a relationship and he couldn’t get enough. Agreeing to date Buck was probably one of the best decisions he’d ever made.

Seeing as they either couldn’t afford or had time to always go on adventurous fancy dates, it was a good thing they were currently living in Los Angeles. It was a giant city and despite having lived here for years, neither one of them was exactly a local so there was always something new to do or to see or to explore. From various restaurants and shows and museums to hikes and bike rides along the coast, their options were truly limitless. As long as they were together, it didn’t seem to matter where they were. 

Their job being what it was, there were days where they much preferred a quiet night in to rest their aching feet and muscles and staying curled up on the couch or having a game night with Christopher was just as satisfying as going out on a new adventure.

But the absolute highlight of the entire situation had to be the reactions of their coworkers who were just so terribly confused by their behavior. Buck and Eddie were always touchy, sure, but they were taking it to new limits each and every day. Since they spent basically all of their free time together glued to each other’s sides, it was easy to forget that they were supposed to be acting completely professional while at work.

It was a good thing their relationship was solely platonic then, because as far as they went was arms thrown over shoulders and slipped around each other’s waists when reaching for an item around the other person. Not overly intimate, but still enough to catch the interest of the people around them who knew them well.

Since all of their outings were well commemorated all over Buck’s social media, they were all bursting with questions. The hot air balloon ride was just the very tip of the iceberg and the one which even a month later seemed to be their favorite sticking point.

“I’m just saying how hot air balloon rides seem like a very date like activity,” Chimney kept saying, trying to remain casual but miserably failing under the weight of his own curiosity. They’ve been thoroughly teased the next day at work, which they handled with practiced ease because it wasn’t like it hadn’t happened before.

They’d agreed that morning before work to keep their relationship to themselves for the time being, until they were completely sure it was even going to work out in the long run. Telling everyone about it so early on felt almost like tempting fate, so keeping it on the down low seemed like the smartest course of action.

“Exactly,” Hen always backed him up. “And didn’t Eddie say he’d never get into one of those contraptions of his own volition? _Not even over my dead body_ were the words he’d used, I’m pretty sure.”

“You did look awfully cozy there,” Bobby agreed warily, forever reluctant to meddle in their business without an explicit invitation and Buck simply shrugged.

He was acting oblivious like a goddamn professional even though Eddie knew that he found the entire situation hilarious. They were all so convinced that the hot air balloon ride was Buck’s idea and that he’d strong armed Eddie into doing it, when in reality, that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

“We were just taking advantage of our day off by trying something new,” Buck said easily, then proceeded to ramble about all the fun facts he’d learned during their ride and the subsequent research until their eyes glazed over and they dropped the topic.

Eddie was honestly having a lot of fun sneaking around the station with Buck, sharing amused looks and holding his hand in between calls and under the table where no one could see. Sharing this secret felt like it brought them even closer together and messing with their nosy friends was yet another welcomed bonus of the whole ordeal.

If their friends asked outright about their relationship status, they would probably just admit to it, but they never did. They probably couldn’t outright ask to protect the integrity of their bet, was Eddie’s guess, because he’d seen them exchange some money with whispered words in the slow moments between calls that he and Buck pretended not to notice.

Since they never asked either of them to get involved, it couldn’t possibly be about anyone else. 

Quite frankly, Eddie wasn’t exactly eager to share the news just yet. He knew what they were going to say and he didn’t want to hear it. He’d had his doubts at the beginning, but things with Buck were going so well and he just wanted to enjoy it without worrying about everyone’s unsolicited opinions and dealing with advice they didn’t want or need.

Buck was practically cackling when he posted a picture of him and Eddie pressed close on his couch last night, with the caption, “Having a quiet night in with my best guy,” followed by a bunch of heart emojis.

All eyes were on them as soon as they walked into the station that morning, like they have been every morning for weeks, because they were clearly coming in together, the same way that they left the previous night.

Eddie was sure that the only thing that kept them from starting another round of interrogation was because the day was so busy they hardly had a chance to breathe, let alone meddle in their business. In fact, it was later on that same day that they finally got a chance to bring up their relationship for the very first time and use up an unusual perk that came with it.

When Bobby told them that they were responding to a brawl at a bachelorette party, everybody groaned in unison. It wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary for them to get hit on calls, especially less serious ones without casualties. Hell, even Bobby had gotten his fair share of wolf whistles while bending over.

Responding to a call with a bunch of drunk women wasn’t anyone’s favorite, especially not in a uniform that was often associated with strippers. And just like clockwork, as soon as they got inside the building, one of them screamed out, “The strippers are here!”

Buck and Eddie shared a commiserating look before they got to work.

Apparently, a brawl had broken out when one of the bridesmaids confessed that she fucking hated the color of her assigned dress, which the bride hadn’t taken well and it earned her a fist in the face. Then, inspired by the bridesmaid’s bravery and a considerable amount of alcohol, the maid of honor decided to confess that she was in love with the groom and had, in fact, been sleeping with him for months and all hell broke loose.

If someone told Eddie that they’d respond to more than one call where a woman ended up with a high heeled shoe sticking out of her face, Eddie wouldn’t have believed them. But here they were. _Again_.

And then people wondered why he wasn’t a big fan of weddings.

Eddie was just putting away his gear and gathering his used up supplies when a woman with scratch marks on her face and still clearly intoxicated put a hand on his ass right then and there.

Eddie took a deep breath and prayed for patience. If someone told him that he would be regularly groped by random strangers, too, he might have seriously reconsidered applying for the job. He gently grabbed her by the wrist and removed her hand as turned around to face her.

“How much for a private show?” she asked, smirking in his direction, much to the amusement of her just as wasted friends. It was 8pm on a Tuesday, for fucks sake. How were they already this drunk?

“Sorry to disappoint, but I actually am a firefighter,” he said, taking a step back to remove himself from the situation but she followed right after him.

“So what?” she asked, not deterred in the slightest. “I could make it worth your while.”

“You should give _him_ a lap dance!” another girl from the crowd called out and she grinned, obviously pleased by the idea.

“I totally could.” She looked Eddie up and down with a predatory look that sent a very unpleasant shiver down his spine. “I sure would love to take a ride on your disco stick.”

Well. Eddie could safely say that this was a new one.

Saying no once should have been enough, but these types of people - especially when drunk - were like vultures. The tight fitted uniform certainly didn’t help and as much as everyone thought it was funny, it also put him in a very awkward and uncomfortable position. Drunks could be very unpredictable when faced with rejection, and Eddie just wanted to be done here and go home to his son without incident.

Before he could come up with something to say to extract himself from the situation, an arm wrapped around his waist and Eddie tensed up at the unexpected touch before he recognized exactly who it was.

“Sorry, ladies,” Buck said, looking down at Eddie with a grin and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “This one is already taken.”

The woman pouted at them, clearly disappointed. Buck steered him away towards the door and back to the truck before she tried to negotiate a threesome. Athena had it handled from here and she’d hopefully keep them contained until they could leave.

Buck only let go once they were at a safe distance away, but his helpful gesture had definitely not gone unnoticed. Chimney and Hen were both giving them pointed looks.

“What the hell was that about?” Chimney asked as Buck and Eddie put away their gear and climbed inside the truck. “I mean, I get saying you were taken but the kiss seemed like a bit of an overkill.”

“Buck was just helping me out,” Eddie said, slumping into his seat. “And it got the message across, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, nothing weird about that,” Buck agreed, taking a seat by his side, sitting so close they were practically glued together, pressed from thigh to shoulder. “We do it all the time.”

Eddie nodded, biting down on a smirk when he realized what Buck was doing. They always sat close together, but this was borderline inappropriate, especially considering they were still at work. “We basically have to hold hands everywhere we go to stop people from trying to approach us when we’re just having a casual stroll through the park.”

Now he was definitely making stuff up just to get a rise out of them. They did often hold hands on their outings, but they did it because they _liked_ it, not to deter others. The fact that no one approached them when they did was just an extra perk.

Buck threw an arm over his shoulders and Eddie willingly leaned into his side. “We were actually talking about getting matching rings to _really_ get the message across that we’re not interested in dating right now. Being this pretty isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, you know?”

Chimney and Hen both just stared at them, open mouthed and when Eddie turned his head towards the front, he found Bobby doing the same.

“What?” Eddie asked, really playing up his confusion. “Why are you all looking at us like that?”

Chimney tried to say something, but Hen put a hand over his mouth to stop him before he did.

“Don’t,” she told him, shaking her head. “They’ll figure it out soon enough.”

“Will they, though?” Chimney asked when she removed her hand, pointedly looking where Buck and Eddie were still pressed together, looking no doubt like a perfect cozy couple. “ _Will_ they?”

Hen didn’t have a response to that and it took everything for Eddie to keep his laughter contained, especially when he felt the deep, calming breaths that Buck had to take to keep his own amusement at bay. 

Obviously, they couldn’t keep their relationship a secret forever, and they didn’t even want to. Neither of them had any intention of holding back outside of work and the fact that no one had caught them in the act yet was a downright miracle.

So yes, while they would come clean about the nature of their relationship to their friends and family at some point – before they all lost their minds trying to figure it out themselves – they certainly weren’t in any rush to do so.

They were going to take the opportunity to have some fun with it, first.


End file.
